Brides come in all shapes, sizes, flavours and smells. They also come with personalities in different versions with different super powers. When you find yourself on your way to bride-hood, you’ll find yourself pick one type over the other. Everyone else will see it too. It’s normally good to flow with your own persona, but sometimes things like marriage make a big chance in you.
Which bride will you choose to be?
1. The Lion King Bride
You’re royalty, and you will be out on show for everybody; you poor lamb. Everyone’s been waiting for this day. Some people saw this day coming the minute she played house for the first time. She’s most likely a celeb or a page 3 socialite or of blue blood.
P.S.: Don’t f**k up.
The perfectionist multi-tasker. She intends to make this wedding just perfect, so she will be going with an ‘all-hands-on-deck’ policy. She will fix the problems, balance the relatives, and make sure your photographer knows what he’s doing, all the while sitting at the parlour getting the perfect facial done for the sangeet she’s put together this evening. Lucky is the lazy man she’ll be marrying.
3. The Ostrich Bride
Yes, the ostrich is super fast, very skittish and will either run away or run around when it’s not fun. Fighting an ostrich is not fun, coz the thing will just continue to run around and peck you and move away before you can punch. And when all else fails, the ostrich will camouflage its head with the ground/sand/mud. And so will the ostrich bride. She’ll just lay low and wait for it all to tide over.
4. Tigress The Bride
She was supposed to be the Kung Fu warrior, and she would have been, if it wasn’t for that damn fluffy panda – incidentally, the one she’s marrying. But it’s okay coz she still gets to fight crime with him, even if he’s the boss. So he’ll do the work, and she’ll be his faithful batgirl. The tigress is all woman and all alpha. She is about no nonsense, and will help out when she must. The rest of the time, don’t get in her way.
5. The Princess Bride
She’s pretty, she’s bubbly, she’s daddy’s girl. And she won’t be lifting a finger. She’ll chill out and have fun, with everyone else managing stuff for her. It is her big day after all. All she has to do is be a princess. So unless she goes into Disney princess mode, you’re all good to go.
6. The Frog Princess a.k.a The Tomboy
Underrated looks, underrated charm, underrated babe. So when she gets all dolled up, you’d never see it coming. She’s one of the less girly girls, she’ll climb a roof to check the lights, chase the dog that ran off with the dupatta, forget her tampon on the day of her mehndi ceremony, and she’s always in pants, except on the engagement, when she wore pants underneath her lehenga. The guy is marrying her coz she’s his best friend/girlfriend. Or she looked real cute the day he saw her, at the meet-the-bride session. Who’d have thought she looks just as cool in a skirt? Even if she trips the first time in heels?
7. The Eater
Yes, she exists. Women are generally pretty; and then there’s Maybelline and Lakme to help out. So no one expects what is to come. Except you see that she’s a bit on the plump side. Then later, she will show her real self. The compulsive eater, she will shovel her way through ounces of food. Her wedding is an excuse to hit up bulimia, and that becomes her high for those few weeks. There is the rare skinny eater, and she’s even scarier. She just keeps eating, and pooping. And then eating all over again; shopping and eating, meeting the boy and eating, getting engaged and eating, eating and eating.
8. The Drunken Monkey
Urm… she’s going to drown in the Pinot gris if you let her. If you don’t let her, she will still drown in the Pinot gris. All the best, champ!
9. La Bridezilla
She’s lovely, normally, but this wedding season has her transforming, into this terrifying creature of epicly nightmarish proportions and ratios. And it doesn’t seem like she can help herself. She may have been a normal or cool girl prior to these days, and don’t worry, she’ll go back to her usual self when the invasion *cough* I mean, the wedding is over with.
She doesn’t come alone. She has a posse that follow her everywhere. One or more of the pack may be getting married around the same time she is. They do everything together, dance together, live and die together, and well, even if they’re not with her in the bedroom, it’s a fair bet she’ll give them the details.
11. The Unwilling Martyr
She may or may not want to be with you; we don’t know. What we do know is that she is so not up for all this mayhem. But she doesn’t have a choice. She will be a silent sacrifice, quietly bearing it all, gritting her teeth, and keeping a straight face all throughout.
12. The Cool Fox
She’s so chill, you start worrying she’s taken something to deal with it. She’s not freaking out at all. It this her first marriage or not?! OMG, did she smoke up or what? She literally isn’t even changing her facial expressions all that much. Is she bored? The one thing everything notices is that she is in ‘the zone.’ And she’s not unwilling, She’s just…chill. So chill dude.