Let’s make one thing clear, the best answer to this question is contained within the pages of Shakespeare’s classic (we know, not too many non-classics with The Bard) tragedy, Romeo And Juliet. But since that’s going to take a lot more time to read than this (we super recommend you make time for it once in your life, though), we’re going to concisely go through what is immature love really and how it differs from a more nuanced, experienced and entirely “mature” engagement.
I could, and probably would have at another point, quoted a number of famous names on their thoughts on exactly what is immature love, and what it is not, but I’ll just leave you with one quote that you’ve probably already seen:
Notice the difference there? It’s subtle but it’s there. One of those statements, where your “need” for the other person forms the basis of your love may sound pretty good in a big budget Hollywood production filmed in exotic locations, but, yes, you guessed it, it’s not exactly the most solid basis for lasting, rewarding, and enriching love which is the only type worth going after, by the way.
And the reason that it’s not a good basis for any of the good kinds of love that we all covet so much, is because it’s immature. Here’s what is immature love:
1. You Need Something
What is immature love? Well, desperation and need are a big part of it. is Those two are intrinsically unappealing to the majority of the population. And to those who feel it would be lovely to have a lover who just “needed” them to function meaningfully in this cruel world (another idea that’s been implanted in our heads) will very soon grow to learn that clinginess is best left to before ‘to’ and ‘fro’ trips to the airport.
2. You Think This Is It
The complex cocktails of emotions that you’ve never felt before (certainly not with this force) coupled with popular culture and sheer ignorance make you think that this must be special because it’s different. But really, it’s about knowing what is immature love; knowing for yourself. The sad part about this is, most of the time you’ll take a while to get that what you’re feeling is the actual answer to that eponymous question – what is immature love?
3. You Rush In
What is immature love? Let’s put this another way..Remember the “only fools rush in” song that your parents (sorry if that was you, I wouldn’t figure you’d be the one reading) probably listened to? Immature love rushes in. Yeah, it’s not a case of being a fool for love that’s different. Also don’t do any of that. Signing your heart away forever and ever because of a flawed, warped and incomplete understanding of love is not a good call nor is it going to last.
[Read More: The Difference Between Love And Infatuation ]
4. You Have No Experience
See, the fact that you’re asking “What is immature love?” kind of says it out loud. You’re lacking in the experience department, Not that way, I mean just no ‘life’ experience at all. And because on top of the fact that you’re a greenhorn, the whole ‘love’ experience is super alien to you, so you understand very little when such heavy topics are presented for study in class or around you. You have absolutely no idea about what you’re doing, and you’re winging it in the dark based off of feelings you have in your heart that themselves tend to oscillate between angst and ecstasy at the drop of a hat. There really needs to be an explicit class on this topic in school.
5. You Think You’ll Never Find Another (This Pretty, This Perfect…)
It’s a load of complete rubbish, and the most immature way to think about another person in reference to love; but it takes a heck a lot of browbeating to get it into a lover who’s convinced oneself of the otherworldly merits of their class 11 classmate. This is one best left to the cruel but clear lesson of experience.
6. You’re Full Of Yourself/Your Confidence Is A Mythical Creature
Your hormones are all over the place, you’re “in love” like no one on the planet has ever been before and to make things even worse you think you can do no wrong or you’d rather take the board exams twice in a row that to talk to the object of your affections, instead dreaming up elaborate scenarios in which they approach you smitten, or which have you rescuing them from a fire, etc. What is immature love? That right there.
[Read More: A Detailed Guide Into Why Love Is Pain And Heartache]
7. It Is All Too Real
It might not be the best approach to take in your relationship (to make an understatement), but there is no doubt the emotions are as real as any other. You can ask the question what is immature love?But whether you choose to classify it as love or not, whether it is true or not, whether it fits into neat little categorizations of “mature” or “immature,” those are powerful and moving forces, usually at a time when an individual is most impressionable and then can motivate actions filled with beauty or motivated by despair.
It would be folly to write off the feelings of another as juvenile or immature, and instead a sit down and talk is required to alert them of the fact that in this world if you do not love yourself, and cannot take care of yourself first, you better believe signing yourself forever to a second person isn’t the right way to sort yourself out; it didn’t even work for Romeo and Juliet.