What Does XOXO Mean? History, Uses, and Etiquette
Timeless sign-offs show how two simple characters can convey warmth and closeness.

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What Does XOXO Mean and Where Did It Come From?
You’ve probably typed XOXO at the end of a quick text or signed it beneath a heartfelt note. But why do these two letters signal warmth and affection—and how should you use them today?
What Does XOXO Mean?
XOXO is a familiar sign-off that means “hugs and kisses.” In its most common reading, the X represents a kiss and the O represents a hug, so a sequence like “XOXO” reads as kiss, hug, kiss, hug—an alternating pattern of affection.
People use XOXO to express warmth, closeness, and fondness—toward a romantic partner, a close friend, or a family member. You’ll see it in text messages, emails to loved ones, handwritten notes, Valentine’s cards, and even on keepsakes and wedding signage. Tone matters: XOXO is casual, affectionate, and personal rather than formal or businesslike.
- XO often reads as a lighter “hugs and kisses.”
- XOX or XOXOX can amplify the sentiment.
- Multiple Xs (e.g., “xxx”) typically emphasize kisses specifically.
- Multiple Os (e.g., “ooo”) emphasize hugs or a cuddly tone.
As communication moved from letters to email and text, XOXO stayed popular because it’s quick, expressive, and instantly recognizable. Many language scholars point out that symbols like X and O persist when they carry strong emotional meaning and are easy to reuse across generations.
Why Do X and O Mean Kisses and Hugs?
The X and O pairing is widely understood, but why those particular letters? The story blends history, symbolism, and tradition.
The X as a Kiss
One commonly cited explanation connects the X to historical signing practices. In some European contexts, people who could not write their names marked documents with an X, then kissed the mark to seal sincerity and truthfulness. Over time, the X came to symbolize that kiss itself. In modern digital use, a single “x” often reads as a small kiss at the end of a friendly note.
The O as a Hug
The origin of the O for hugs is less definitive but makes intuitive sense: the circular shape resembles encircling arms. In group signing or playful notes, the O emerged as a visual stand-in for a warm embrace. Together, X and O pair naturally as complementary gestures—one a peck, the other an embrace—making XOXO a compact formula for affection.
Enduring Popularity
Despite evolving communication styles, XOXO endures because it is short, friendly, and emotionally legible across ages and contexts. It is both personal and flexible—equally at home in a quick text or a keepsake card—and its meaning is clear without explanation.
How to Use XOXO in Everyday Messages
Use XOXO where warmth is expected. It’s common at the end of casual communications with people you know well.
Great Places to Use XOXO
- Texts and DMs to partners, close friends, and family.
- Handwritten notes, thank-you cards, and holiday cards to loved ones.
- Birthday, anniversary, and congratulations messages with a personal tone.
- Wedding-related messages among the couple and wedding party.
When to Skip XOXO
- Professional emails, especially with colleagues or clients.
- First-time introductions or networking messages.
- Sensitive or solemn communications where a neutral sign-off is more appropriate.
Alternatives by Tone
- Warm but neutral: Warmly, Best, With appreciation.
- Affectionate but subtle: Love, Much love, Yours.
- Playful: x, xx, xo, big hug, cuddle.
If you’re unsure, match the recipient’s style. If they sign off with “xo,” mirroring that tone usually feels natural.
Modern Variations and Creative Spins
People tweak XOXO to match personality, culture, and context. Some variations emphasize one gesture; others create patterns or visual flair.
- XO / XOX: Shorter forms—still affectionate but lighter.
- XXX / XXXX: Multiple Xs focus on kisses; in some regions, this is a common friendly sign-off.
- OOO / OOOO: Emphasizes hugging, warmth, or comfort.
- xoxo in lowercase: Feels casual, soft, and friendly.
- XOXO with emojis: Combine with ❤️ 🤗 😘 to dial up the feeling.
- Stylistic typography: Use script fonts, bold letters, or patterned lettering in printed pieces.
In visual design—like wedding signage, favor tags, or photo booth props—XOXO can become a graphic motif, repeated as a border or enlarged as a focal point. It’s both symbolic and decorative.
Etiquette: Who Can You Send XOXO To?
Etiquette is about context. XOXO is affectionate, so consider relationship, culture, and setting.
Recipient | Appropriate? | Notes |
---|---|---|
Romantic partner | Yes | Common in texts, cards, and notes; can be playful or sincere. |
Close friends | Often | Depends on norms; many friend groups use xo casually. |
Immediate family | Yes | Frequent in cards and everyday messages. |
Distant relatives | Sometimes | Gauge familiarity and their usual sign-offs. |
Colleagues/clients | No | Too personal for professional threads; use a neutral closing. |
Acquaintances | Rarely | Save XOXO for established personal relationships. |
When in doubt, lean slightly formal. You can always warm up future messages once you understand the other person’s comfort level.
Using XOXO in Weddings and Celebrations
XOXO fits naturally into celebrations centered on love. It works as a text sign-off and as a visual or verbal motif across wedding materials.
Stationery & Signage Ideas
- Save-the-dates: A small “xoxo” at the bottom corner adds a sweet touch.
- Invitations: Consider a monogram or wax seal with XOXO for a playful, modern feel.
- Programs or menus: Use a repeating XOXO border for subtle patterning.
- Escort cards: A single X or O as a motif by each name.
- Photo booth props: Oversized X and O letters for guests to hold.
- Favors: Tags that read “XOXO and thank you!”
Decor & Details
- Neon “XOXO” sign as a backdrop for the sweetheart table.
- Balloon letters spelling XOXO near the dance floor.
- Cake topper featuring XOXO or alternating X and O tiers in the design.
- Custom aisle runner or welcome sign incorporating the motif.
Vows and Toasts
If your style leans playful, a brief nod to “hugs and kisses” in vows or speeches can echo the theme. Keep it tasteful and sincere—just a line is often enough.
Regional and Cultural Nuances
Attitudes toward XOXO vary by community and country. In some English-speaking regions, a lone “x” at the end of a message among friends is standard and platonic; in others, it feels romantic and is used sparingly.
- Casual ‘x’ culture: Common in everyday messages between friends (sometimes even acquaintances) to soften tone.
- Romance-forward use: Reserved primarily for partners and close family.
- Formality-first contexts: Avoided in professional or mixed-audience communications.
When communicating across cultures, observe how others sign their messages and mirror the norm when appropriate.
Common Questions About XOXO
Does the order matter—X before O?
“XOXO” is most common, but “OXOX” appears too. The meaning is essentially the same: alternating kisses and hugs. For consistency, most people default to XOXO.
Is XOXO romantic or platonic?
Both. Context and relationship determine the tone. Among close friends, a small “xo” can be platonic; between partners, “XOXO” can be intimate.
Is it okay to use XOXO at work?
Generally no. It signals personal affection. In workplaces where casual culture is strong and relationships are close, some people use a single “x” with coworkers, but it’s safer to avoid it in professional emails.
What does multiple Xs or Os mean?
Repetition intensifies the feeling: “xxxx” suggests many kisses; “oooo” suggests big or multiple hugs. It’s playful rather than exact.
Is lowercase different from uppercase?
Lowercase “xoxo” reads softer and more casual; uppercase “XOXO” feels bolder or more graphic—great for signage or headings.
Style Tips for Digital Messages
- Match your medium: Use “xo” in quick texts; save “XOXO” for cards, captions, or moments of emphasis.
- Mind the audience: Not everyone is comfortable with affectionate sign-offs; when unsure, opt for neutral closings.
- Pair thoughtfully: Add a heart emoji for romance or a hugging face for friendly warmth.
- Keep it balanced: Overusing XOXO can dilute its meaning; reserve it for genuine affection.
Creative Ways to Say Hugs and Kisses Without XOXO
If XOXO isn’t your style or feels overused, try these alternatives by mood:
- Sweet: “Sending hugs,” “Kisses,” “All my love.”
- Playful: “Smooches,” “Bear hugs,” “Big squeeze.”
- Romantic: “Forever yours,” “With all my heart,” “Always.”
- Supportive: “Here for you,” “Holding you close,” “Warmly.”
Designing With XOXO: Visual Ideas
Because XOXO is both a word and a pattern, it adapts beautifully to print and digital design. Consider these approaches:
- Pattern play: Repeat “XO” diagonally for a chic background on invitations or thank-you notes.
- Monoline scripts: A handwritten xoxo in a continuous line for logos or envelope liners.
- Mixed media: Combine die-cut X and O shapes on menus or escort cards for dimensional detail.
- Color coding: Assign one color to X and another to O for a lively checkerboard effect.
- Metallic accents: Foil-stamp a bold “XOXO” on program covers or favor tags.
Quick Do’s and Don’ts
- Do use XOXO with people you know well.
- Do adjust formality to the situation.
- Do vary length (xo vs. XOXO) to match tone.
- Don’t use XOXO in most professional contexts.
- Don’t assume everyone reads it the same way—consider culture and relationship.
- Don’t overdo repetition; sincerity beats volume.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
Q: What does XOXO stand for?
A: XOXO stands for “hugs and kisses.” X represents a kiss; O represents a hug.
Q: Where did XOXO originate?
A: The X is often linked to historical signatures sealed with a kiss; the O likely represents encircling arms for a hug. Together, they evolved into a compact symbol of affection.
Q: Is XOXO appropriate for friends?
A: Yes, many people use “xo” or “xoxo” platonically with close friends, depending on regional and personal norms.
Q: Can I put XOXO in wedding stationery?
A: Absolutely. Use it in save-the-dates, invitations, signage, favor tags, or a neon sign as a playful, love-forward motif.
Q: Is XO different from XOXO?
A: XO is a shorter, lighter version (“hugs and kisses”). XOXO feels fuller or more emphatic. Both communicate warmth.
Q: Should I avoid XOXO at work?
A: In most workplaces, yes. It’s considered too personal. Choose neutral closings like “Best” or “Warm regards.”
References

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