6 Types Of Men You Are Most Likely To Encounter In The Indian Dating Scene

Now, India is no Smallville High (school), but it does meet the required standards of high school-hot guys, horny guys, creepy guys, acne guys, protein-shake men, nerds, pretty guys etc. There’s no dearth of clichés, stereotypes or flavours when it comes to finding your own unique version of rabies~… *cough*, ahem, I mean life partner.

types of indian men to date

Take, for example, the following types:

1. Rosesh Sarabhai

Roshesh-Sarabhais

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Coz mother knows best’ is not just a kids’ favourite from Disney. No, crouching matriarch hidden Mussolini is daytime television here, in the land of the average Oedipus. He may be young or old, rich or poor, classy or crass, but be warned; abandon all hope, ye who enter…. err, date here.

2. The DOTA ‘dude’

The DOTA-dude


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That’s right, run.

Coz he comes with a team; you date him, you date them all. Oh, and they don’t know how to play anything but DOTA. Just in case you don’t get it yet, I’m referring to the video game Defence of the Ancients. He’ll also have a tendency to harp on you if you play anything but DOTA, and he will be borderline in love with the ‘mad bomber’ on his team (read obsessively). You know the type, five to eight dudes, always hanging together, always making references to the ‘hot guy’ of the gang, they get real sensitive when one guy has a girl, at least one of them real fluffy…..yeah, you remember!

3. Old-Kanye-Old-Draco-Wannabe

Old-Kanye-Old-Draco-Wannabe gif

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Yes, he’s the one who always has to say something else but with that old-Kanye smirk. Be it in the middle of a movie, when he’s trying to win today’s argument, when he wants to flirt with your friend (that is so not the way to impress her), when he’s talking to your ex, his ex, his mom, anyone’s mom, or dad even. He thinks he’s the renegade, the maverick, the asli mard. But the thing is that Kanye earned all that with like blood, sweat, and tears, and he’s cool now, okay. And Draco, let’s just say he used to own a certain Elder wand.

4. The Salman Virgin

The Salman Virgin gif

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Wow, how did I get here? Okay, okay, STFD (shut the front door); I need to talk about this one. So he’s waited for you, forever. He’s a good guy. Sharab bhi nahi peeta hai! So he will emulate Cupid in his love for you. He’s the one, and you’re the one, and everybody’s the one too!

5. The Possessive Guy

The Possessive Guy gif

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I feel like I don’t need to elaborate on this one, and though I’m not quite sure if there is a gay version, I’m pretty sure it is a guy thing. He wants you all to himself, all the time. You could be out shopping, when sir suddenly has to see your lovely face, and a ‘no’ will not cut it. He isn’t an ‘old-Kanye-old-Draco-wannabe’, he won’t pick on you like that, God, no! He’s got that down to a ‘T’, and he will emote, with tears if necessary. Makes for a great boyfriend though, when he gets all possessively protective!

6. Benny Lover

benny-lava

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Popular in the 90s, Benny Lover was considered by many men and women all over the world a ‘final boss’ of the internet. Sworn to love, he was a hunter, nay, a revolutionary. Check out the video here…

Little did they know that in my homeland, Benny is a common occurrence, and he comes in posh versions too. You must have seen a bunch of Benny boys by the car-parks, waiting for anything on legs remotely female. Then there are the educated versions, normally hard-working young men, sitting in cubicles, with a bad case of wandering-eye and un-tied tongue. After that, they vary by pay grades, but you’ll even find them in the families of booze barons and Bollywood nobles and maybe in a boy band too.

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