7 Tips To Spice Up Your Marriage After Having Children

Picture this: You get married and enter a world of togetherness with your veritable soulmate. Everything is hunky-dory, you share household duties, go out for dates, and wind-up a relaxing weekend with some much needed intimacy. It’s pretty much a dream run, and the natural progression is that one day you add to your family, and that’s the day your life changes. It is now a race against time to feed them, get them ready, and yes get them bathroom-trained, so they learn to do their own stuff.

But while you are all busy keeping your child at the centre of your life, you don’t realise that your marriage itself has been put on the back-burner. You don’t spend time with each other like you once did, and basically, the relationship is losing it’s zing and fast. So how does one spice things up while caring for little bundles of joy (and headaches)? Here are 7 tips that can help you ace your marriage and maintain the intimacy, all the while you’re working hard at being a good parenting.

1. Moments Together: Make ‘Em Count


Raising a brood is no easy feat, and we know that by the end of the day, the energy levels are definitely on the low side. But when you are finally together in your bedroom, instead of tucking in for the night right away, spend some time talking and reflecting upon the major moments of the day. Any conversation can stimulate you and your partner to chat, carefree, like two college sweethearts. Having light-hearted conversations on any mundane thing is a great way to have the much needed communication in a marriage, which can actually play wonders in strengthening your bond.

2. Have Some ‘Our’ Time

Your children are important, and they deserve the best of their Mum n’ Dad’s time. However it is not always a great thing to keep them on centre stage all the time without ever heeding to your partner’s needs. Create a habit to dedicate some exclusive time for one another- some time where you can have a quiet moment together. It can be a place outside or a simple candle-light dinner at home after the children have gone to bed. While the previous tip talked about making most of the free time you get, this is all about making new time for your marriage.

3. Romantic Overtures


A simple flirty text will work wonders even if the core purpose of your message was to ask your other half to pick up some groceries on their way back. Try your best to insert romantic words in your day-to-day tasks that will help you keep things fresh even in the monotony of parenting. Even dropping a simple ‘I love you’ can help spice things up in your married life.

4. Get A Family Member To Babysit

Don’t underestimate the power of the family. It is your best option when you intend to leave house for few hours for some “us” time – meaning no taking the children along. In case you live with your parents or in-laws, have them look after the children when you go out together. That way you can have some peace of mind as well as some much needed cozy time.

5. Children (Often) Begone


There is nothing wrong in letting your children know that they have to keep themselves entertained. It helps in more than one way; by teaching them to actually understand the importance of being independent. Of course, you also get some private time together. It is okay to overlook their tantrums and treat yourself with some quality time.

6. Sex Life: Don’t Throw It Away

Sometimes, as your little bundle of joy is settling into the house, your bedroom escapades suffer. After a while, though, such an arrangement benefits no-one. The rhetoric around such an issue usually goes ‘Where is the time?’ Raising children can be draining, but it doesn’t have to be all the time so long as you realize something: that good ol’ sex can seriously can do some good to your relationship since it helps release endorphins – and apart from just feeling great, endorphins can help you bond ever more with your partner. Think of it as growing your love.

7. Think Of A Future Together


Grab a cup of coffee, sit together and fantasize about a future together – the time when your children will be all grown-up, left their nest, and all you would have once more is each other’s company. When you sit down to have a think about such a thing, time often stands still, and one is reminded of why we’re making all of this effort in the first place.

So there you are folks. Seven tips to deal with when the parenting blues makes for a waning intimacy between husband and wife. Enjoyed reading? Do leave a comment and share at will.

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