11 Things That No Wedding Guest Should Do. Ever

Weddings are a time to celebrate the couple – and to a lesser extent, their families. That’s about it. They’re a lot of things besides that, including lots of fun, but if we remember the raison d’etre of weddings, we’d all save ourselves a lot of grief. For those still hazy on the details of what that entails, here’s how to make a good impression at the next wedding you happen to be attending, by not doing any of the below 11 things.


11. Eat With The Urgency Of A Triathlete

That means not rushing in. Weddings will usually have some sort of arrangement as to which tables approach the buffet first, so wait your turn. You won’t look a barbarian and you’ll save yourself – and others – the irritation of standing in a long line.

10. Raise An Unscripted Toast

Have a word in private if you must. But that slobbering speech that sounded pretty good in your head will be remembered as “the embarrassing time when Adam went off on one at our wedding” There’s going to be other speeches and the day isn’t really about how you feel about the whole thing, as we’d already established. If you’re certain you have something to say, do ask for permission beforehand.

9. Criticize

The food, the decor, the ambiance… anything. Just don’t do it. A lot of time and effort went into every little detail, including the fact of whether you should or should not be there, and certain things sometimes transpire – out of control of the hosts.

8. Delay the RSVP


See above – there’s a lot of planning that goes into a wedding, including the seating plan. Plus the family tends to lose a lot of money, money that they had earmarked for everything from your food, drink and stay. So be prompt in your reply and reply as instructed.

7. Harass The Bride, Groom & Family

They’ve got a lot of things going on – so unless there’s a literal fire, you probably don’t want to be going up to them pointing out the obvious, making inane questions or anything of the sort. This is their day, and believe me there’s enough on their plate and minds.

6. Dress Down

It is insulting to the people who put together the whole affair. That doesn’t mean, however, that you show up in something completely over-the-top extravagant or raucous – that’s once again distracting from the whole point of being there.

5. Get Wasted

Open bar? Enjoy responsibly.

4. Show Off Your Photography Skills


Yeah, the couple has, after much deliberation, arrived at a stellar photographer to perfectly capture their entire event, and they’repaying a small fortune for that privilege. Either they’re going to see your head in many of their shots, arms outstretched and all, or they’re going to see a sea of people looking into their tiny screens as the bride makes her entry. No. Just no.

3. Seek Attention

In any form, in any way. Sure, you got troubles, needs even. Good company, a strong scotch and it all comes out, doesn’t it? Some guests are amused, others interested even. Still, leave your need for attention (and ability to command it) at home. It’s not the right day for any of that.

2. Bring The Extended Family

See, when the invitation says James and Martha, that’s exactly what it means. So don’t send it back with three added on names, no matter how cute or amenable you think the persons attached to those names are.

1. Hook Up With The Wrong Person

There are stories abound of guests hooking up with the groom’s mother, or with someone who came with a date, or even one particularly amusing one of the groom’s mother and bride’s father being discovered in a cozy nook (No, we’re not going to reproduce it here). Weddings are a great place to meet new people, as it were, but do watch out for potential pitfalls.

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