25 Telltale Signs Your Ex Is Over You And What To Do

Don't hesitate to check for the signs it is over, for it may help you get closure with your ex.

Reviewed by Clifton Riley, CTHF, CLC, CMS Clifton Riley Clifton RileyCTHF, CLC, CMS facebook_iconyoutube_iconinsta_icon Specialty: Relationship Instructor, Life CoachExperience: 30 years
Written by Shikha Thakur
Last Updated on

How to know if your ex is over you? When a relationship ends, it is common for one person to have lingering feelings still while it is comparatively easier for the other person to move on with their lives. So what are the signs that your ex is over you and the relationship? We are here to help you with that. Read on for a list of signs that will help you know whether or not they are over you.

How Do You Know If Your Ex Is Over You?

1. They change their contact information

If your ex has changed their phone number soon after the breakup, it is a pretty strong signal they have effectively moved on and want a fresh start. This is intended to not only cut you off but also send a message to your mutual friends who might be trying to reach out to them on your behalf.

2. They block you on social media platforms

This is probably a consequence of a rough breakup and is not uncommon. This could signal they no longer care about what’s going on in your life. And if they are in a new relationship, they may want to show that person that they don’t have feelings for you anymore.

A less extreme version of this is if they choose to unfriend or unfollow you on social media and stop receiving your calls and messages.

3. They start dating again

While this could be their attempt to distract themselves from the breakup or make you jealous, it could also mean that they have moved on with their lives.

4. They display rude behavior

Whenever you speak to your ex, you might find that their attitude towards you is rude or downright disrespectful. While this is not uncommon with rough breakups and could be temporary, it’s also a strong sign that your interpersonal chemistry has fundamentally changed. If this continues in the weeks following the break-up, they’re probably over you.

5. They ask you to move on

This is especially common when they are the one to end the relationship. While it may seem perfectly natural and healthy given you’re at least still on talking terms, it underscores the fact that they have no strong feelings for you anymore. There’s a good chance they want you to move on so they can do so as well without feeling guilty or hurting your sentiments.

6. Their routine has noticeably changed

While you can ascribe this to your ex having more free time now that they’re single, drastic changes to their routine and hobbies can indicate that they are over you. If they’re immersing themselves in a new hobby or instrument, joining a gym, spending more time with family, etc., it’s time for you to move on as well.

7. They ask for their belongings

Your ex might want to return a particularly expensive gift or take some of their things back from your house (and vice versa) post the breakup. You might have left sets of clothes or an odd jacket or phone charger at each other’s houses. You might’ve gifted each other watches or smartphones even. If your ex returns these and asks for their belongings, it is an obvious sign that they don’t want to be reminded of you and want to move on.

While this is normal and healthy in any breakup, it also adds a sense of finality to your relationship.

8. They refuse to interact with you in person

While this behavior could be because the breakup has been too painful for them, it could also suggest callousness. To avoid any awkward interactions or arguments, they might ask a friend to collect their things from your house or avoid parties hosted by mutual friends, so you don’t run into each other.

9. They are unusually quiet on social media

If they are extremely active on social media, constantly posting about themselves and having a great time, that would mean they’re likely doing it to make you feel jealous, and it’s a surefire sign that they’re not over you yet.

However, if they’re unusually quiet on social media, it’s likely they’re just happy doing their own thing and do not feel the need to flaunt their happiness to you and are over you.

10. They have moved to a different place

If your ex has moved to a different neighborhood or city after the breakup, there’s usually a harsh truth you need to accept — they’re over you. It is a clear indication that they have moved on and are trying to avoid bumping into you or erase the memories you shared.

11. They tell you it’s over

Nothing can be as much of a confirmation that your ex is over you than hearing them put it bluntly and directly to you.

If your ex tells you that they don’t have feelings for you anymore or asks you to move on, it might be time to close that chapter in your life. This is particularly true if they are calmly saying it without any bitterness or malice.

12.  The person they are seeing is your polar opposite

If your ex is now with someone who is significantly different from you, it is glaringly obvious they are no longer the same person. It isn’t worth clinging to hope in this scenario; they are definitely over you. It clearly suggests that they have changed as a person and no longer desire the same qualities in a partner as they did when you were both with each other.

13. Your ex is closer to you than ever, but as a friend

If you’re so close to each other and comfortable talking to each other, then clearly they’re not over you, right? Wrong. In a healthy breakup, exes can remain friends despite being over each other. This is particularly common if you and your ex were good friends before you started your romantic relationship.

It could simply be that you both are returning to that stage of friendship while still meaning that they are over you as a romantic partner. This can be a tricky balancing act at first, but it is not uncommon for couples to return to being just friends.

14. They avoid or ignore mutual friends

This is usually the consequence of a messy or difficult breakup. If you have mutual friends, you might find that your ex is avoiding them or has stopped interacting with them altogether. This might extend from real-life meetings to cutting them off on social media.

This is one of the most obvious signs that your ex is over you because not only are they willing to cut you out of their life, but they’re also willing to ignore your mutual friends.

15. They seem uninterested in your social life or romantic life

A common sign of wanting your ex back is keeping track of their social life or watching for any new relationships they might have after you. Whether it’s checking their social media or asking mutual friends about them, it is usually an indication that they want to get back with you.

However, if your ex shows no interest in your social life or in you dating other people, it’s a pretty clear sign they are over you.

16. There is no flirting in your conversations

People who are attracted to each other tend to flirt, even if they aren’t in a relationship. This is true of anyone, whether or not they have dated before. This does not have to lead to a relationship, and it’s completely healthy behavior between two consensual adults.

If there is no sign of that in your interactions with your ex, or if your conversations have become formal, then it’s a strong indication they are over you.

17. They ignore your calls

While this isn’t as bad as being blocked or cut off, having an ex ignore your calls can be just as painful. This is an indication of many things. They do not want to interact with you so soon after the breakup or do not want any potential arguments or drama. It also suggests that they just want some time to be alone after the break-up.

All of these signs show that they are trying to get over you if they are not already. It is, thus, unwise to keep calling them.

18. They gossip about you or your relationship

Nothing can be more painful than a messy breakup. Your friends can make this even more difficult. While you may not necessarily share the details of your relationship and the break-up with others, there is a good chance your ex might.

If your ex is talking about you and your relationship in a bad light, they are clearly over you. This might range from blaming you for the relationship not working out to pointing out your general flaws.

19. They do not want to be in any relationship

After a relationship ends, it is perfectly natural to wait for some time before entering another one, irrespective of who ended it. But, if your ex openly tells people that they are not interested in dating for the foreseeable future, they are clearly harboring some scars from this relationship.

While it is unpleasant to hear or acknowledge it, they’re basically saying that they are still negatively affected by this relationship, and they do not want another relationship anytime soon.

And when this is the case, you can be sure that they are over you.

20. They do not want to remain friends with you

Companionship is at the core of every relationship, and being friends is a big part of that.

While some couples go back to being friends, if the breakup was messy and painful, one or both parties may decide it is impossible to remain friends any longer.

If your ex explicitly tells you that remaining friends isn’t a good idea, it’s a pretty definitive sign that things are over between you two.

21. Short-term, casual relationships have become the “new normal” for them

While it is normal to not get into another long-term, committed relationship after one has just ended, there is a limit to this. If your ex switches gears to just casual, physical relationships, it could mean they are over the idea of long-term relationships for a while, if not for good.

While this is not necessarily a reflection on you or what they think of you, they definitely don’t want to get back together with you and are over you romantically.

22. They are in a relationship with your close friend

While there is no rule as such against this, it is an understood social courtesy. Both your friend and your ex will typically go out of their way to not get into a relationship since it complicates their relationships with you.

However, if your ex is willing to take this blow to their reputation and become “that person” who dates their ex’s close friend, then it is over.

Either they are so close that they consider their relationship worthwhile despite being fully aware that their reputation will be tarnished, or they simply don’t care what you think anymore.

23. They have changed jobs or departments, in case you were co-workers

While workplace romance is fairly common in this day and age, it is still an extremely drastic step to take. If you and your ex met as colleagues, and they have taken a career hit by moving jobs or departments, it means they are ready to do whatever it takes to distance themselves from you, and there can be no clearer indicator that they are over you than this.

24. Their friends or some mutual friends stop speaking to you

It is obvious that your ex’s friends will be sympathetic to them during a break-up. And, if they are openly ignoring you, then it is likely that they haven’t heard good things about you, or, perhaps, they have heard another version of the story, the circumstances in which the relationship ended. Another casualty of this can be mutual friends who either don’t speak to you or don’t take sides altogether. These indicate that your ex does not have a favorable opinion of you and is over you.

25. They have stopped frequenting your hangout places

Maybe when you were dating, you and your ex shopped for groceries at the same place, went to the same gym, and had a favorite restaurant/bar in common.

If you notice them frequenting these places less often, or if they have stopped visiting them altogether, then it’s an attempt to avoid you.

What Should You Do?

So, now you know the common signs that your ex is over you. But what if you aren’t over them? As mentioned at the start, breakups are not always mutual, and often, at least one person in the relationship still harbors feelings for their ex.

While it is unhealthy to brood over an ex if they are over you, there are circumstances where it is appropriate to try getting your ex back. These include if the breakup was due to something trivial, external factors getting in the way of your relationship, or temporary friction between you two.

You could reflect on the relationship and why it ended. There is no point trying to get your ex back if you don’t know what went wrong in the first place. Sometimes, a break can allow you to look at things from a broader perspective.

If you feel like you have figured out what went wrong and are willing to try and make it work a second time, then there are certain ways to approach it.

  • You should first ensure they are not completely over you. Trying to rekindle your relationship when they have clearly moved on will reflect poorly on you.
  • If you are still friends, then take it slow and give the emotional wounds some time to heal. If you both met as friends before getting into the relationship, then you should attempt to be their friend again first and let things naturally evolve to the relationship stage.
  • If the breakup was a messy incident and you are not on speaking terms, you should attempt to make amends over time and bring your relationship back to a civil and platonic state. After that, if there is still chemistry between you both, you can try to reignite the relationship.
  • There may be times when your partner is flirting with you or speaking to you the way they used to when you were in a relationship. If it seems natural and happens often, then it could mean that the breakup was just a speed bump in your relationship, and there is still scope for a reunion.

Frequently Asked Questions

1. When should you give up on an ex?

Having feelings for an ex isn’t wrong. However, you should stop expecting your ex to return when they avoid communicating with you. Even if they talk, they appear uninterested and aloof. They avoid being in the same social circle as you and have a new person in their life. Returning your stuff and encouraging you to move on are clear signs that you should give up on your ex.

2. Do exes pretend to be over someone?

When people pretend to be over their ex, they try to look too happy, but their behavior indicates otherwise. They show they don’t care about their ex but get jealous when their ex is with someone else. No matter how hard they try not to bring up their ex in a conversation, they always talk about them and their old romance. When around their ex, they try to flirt and bring up old memories to stir up the fizzled-out romance.

If you experienced a recent breakup, you might be wondering how to know if your ex is over you. Since every relationship is different, so are the rules that apply to each scenario. These above-listed points are the usual signs people display when they are over their ex. Of course, moving on is easier said than done, especially if you get mixed signals from your ex. However, if your ex shows these signs, it is best not to pursue them and save yourself from unnecessary pain and friction. Nevertheless, you could maintain a platonic, friendly relationship with them if you both agree to it.

Key Pointers

  • If your ex has changed their contact information and has blocked you on social platforms, they may have moved on.
  • Rude behavior, asking you to move on, or refusing to interact with you can be some of the tell-tale signs that they are over you.
  • If you wish to patch up, you need to be patient, bring your relationship back to a civil and platonic state and then try to rekindle the romance.

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Clifton Riley
Clifton RileyCTHF, CLC, CMS
Clifton Riley is a talk show host, podcaster, author, life coach, certified trauma healing facilitator, licensed relationship instructor, certified biblical counselor, licensed minister, and keynote speaker with 30 years of experience.

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