Reasons For Divorce: 14 Totally Avoidable Reasons Explained

Reasons For Divorce, Totally Avoidable Reasons Explained; Going through a divorce is definitely not a pleasant experience. While in most cases it is a mutual decision, it invariably takes the toll on the mental and physical health of the once-espoused individuals. In spite of what it seems, divorce is never spontaneous, since there are always certain reasons for divorce and certain series of events that lead to it. These string of events themselves sprout from the various apparent and obscure issues that trail back to the moment you took the decision to tie the knot with a person. These are basically the fundamental reasons for a marriage to end in a divorce, and in this article, let’s take a look at some of those reasons for divorce.

Presenting commonly-cited reasons for divorce, which are more or less avoidable.

1. You Married For A Silly/Ambiguous Reason

Reasons For Divorce - You Married For A Silly Ambiguous Reason

This might sound more like love advice, but it’s so apt for those of you looking to get hitched. It is one of the top reasons for divorce, and one of the most easiest to avoid. Often, we assume someone to be a prospective life partner but little do we focus on the exact reason why we would like to get into a wedlock with that individual. For example, you might just marry someone because he/she has lot of money or has killer looks. Little do you focus on the fact that marriage is not about the highs, it is also about those lows, and those are the times when cracks in the bond set in.

Solution: Sit down, introspect and ask yourself some questions. Why are you marrying that person? Is it really his/her perfections you seek? Do you accept that person’s imperfections? Spending some time reflecting on these thoughts will take you a long way. You will realise that you are wiser about relationships than you were before.

[Read More: How To Be A Good Husband]

2. You Are Not Ready To Compromise

Marriage brings its own share of compromises. No marriage is an exception, and every married couple has to work through a series of gruelling adjustments that transform their lives completely. You must always acknowledge this fact, and be mentally prepared for it before you wed. Your inability to adjust or stubbornness may be reasons for divorce; to do so can eventually make your spouse call that lawyer.

Solution: Compromise is a two-edged sword. If your partner expects you to bargain on something, then it quite likely he/she has also conceded in some department. Always discuss things as life partners and reach a settlement which is good for the both of you.

 

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3. You Feel Like You Are Losing Yourself

Reasons For Divorce - You Feel Like You Are Losing Yourself

This means you find yourself transforming into a new person. Remember, there is always going to be an eventual change in your personality after marriage. In other words, you will not be the same person you were when single. Such a change is okay and there is no harm in that. But often there are spouses who deliberately try to change their partner in order to make them perfect. That surely leads to a discord between the two, the kind that gives reasons for divorce.

Solution: If it is a natural change then it is absolutely okay. People change over period of time due to their responsibilities and situations around them. But if it is a partner-induced change then instead of taking a harsh step, sit down and discuss it with your partner. Make him/her see what they are doing is not correct. Make your spouse understand the negative repercussions of it. If you are really soul-mates you will definitely find an amicable solution to this common reason for divorce.

4. Those In-laws Are Worst Than Thorns!

A social study by University of Michigan published in 2012 found that when a lady had cordial relations with her husband’s parents, the percentage of the couple’s divorce decreased by 20 per cent. It is a no-brainer why this happens, since having bothersome in-laws is one of the top reasons for divorce around the globe. Tumultuous relations with one’s in-laws results in a strain on the relationship between husband and wife, which often results in a separation or divorce in worst cases.

Solution: The only solution to this issue is lucid communication. If you feel your in-laws are liberal-minded, approach them and sort out the matters in a pleasant way. If they seem totally unapproachable then discuss it out with your partner. As life partners, you should aim at finding a non-destructive yet a definite solution, which maintains the bonhomie in the family.

 

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[Read More: Your Life After Marriage]

5. Substance Dependence

This should come as no surprise. Substance abuse has spelled doom on several marriages across the world. Addiction towards alcohol or drugs often leads to an anti-social behaviour towards the spouse, eventually leading to a lot of reasons for divorce.

Solution: The best solution to this is to check into a rehabilitation centre for de-addiction. In case you feel you can give it a shot yourself, and then do it wholeheartedly. The best way to begin is to identify the motivation behind your substance dependence. For example, if you have some set of friends who drag you to drink every time, then you minimise your interaction with them in order to save your marriage. Once clean, you will realise you find more solace in the company of your spouse than in alcohol/drugs.

6. Poor Sex Life

Reasons For Divorce - Poor Sex Life

There are two sub-reasons here. One is the inability of one of the partner to satisfy the other or feel satisfied by the efforts of other. And the second is not dedicating enough time for intimacy. The latter sub-reason is one of the leading causes of disharmony among married couples in 21st century. As people get busier, they find less time for some good old bedroom fun, eventually losing interest in it completely. That’s another one of those pesky reasons for divorce.

Solution: If you have grown sexually distant due to biological reason or by a health ailment then be supportive and understanding of the partner. Remember your wedding vows. You promised to stand by your partner no matter what. Best way is to discuss it out with your spouse, and understand what are his/her expectations, and the work towards achieving a solution.

7. Financial Incompatibility

This one can cause some serious problems but it is also one of those that can be rectified very easily. It is all about the difference in spending habits, and how one deals with money. While one partner may have no hesitation taking loans, the other may be more inclined towards savings. Differences here often lead to arguments, which eventually lead to reasons for divorce, and total separation.

Solution: The best solution here is delegation. Set roles for each other. If one is going to be the spender, buying things for the both of you and the house, then the other one would be someone who tighten the strings and cut on individual expenses. Assigning each other the respective responsibilities is a great way to find an amicable solution to this problem.

8. Lack Of Romance

Reasons For Divorce - Lack Of Romance

Sex is important. But first come love and romance. It need not always be candle-light dinners but there are always small things which you can do to maintain the spark in your relationship. Many couples tend to become mechanical with their marriage, missing out on love and romance completely. Needless to say, they eventually lose interest in the wedlock itself.

Solution: You don’t have to be a die-hard romantic but you can always do small things to make your spouse happy. Cook her a special meal someday, plan a special holiday with him. It’s these small bits that will eventually fuel your marriage towards success.

[Read More: An Extra Marital Affair?]

9. Having No Common Ground

Reasons For Divorce - Having No Common Ground

There is a likelihood that you and spouse are totally opposite to each other even when it comes to general tastes and preferences. There is nothing wrong about that, and it is completely normal. But as time passes by, a couple should always strive to find a common ground where they can stand. This means finding things that you love doing as a couple. Most couples do not invest time and effort in this, eventually growing so obsessed with their differences that can’t see eye to eye any more. It’s one of the more tragic reasons for divorce.

Solution: This is something you will find after you spend a good number of years in wedlock. So don’t worry if you are initially unable to find any common interests. Trial and error is the key to it. But once you click, you will have something to bask under together for the rest of your life.

10. Leaving Loose Ends In Conflicts

Often, to maintain congeniality in relationships, couples do not delve deeper with their arguments and abandon it at a particular point without any conclusive solution. While it may seem a good thing to do but in reality it is creating the perfect recipe for future disharmony. Often, the bone of contention comes back snapping at your relationship in the future, tearing your bond apart.

Solution: Remember, you are two persons who are going to live, eat and sleep together for the rest of your lives. If you have some differences, it is best to discuss it out and reach a solution without keeping things open to harmful mutations. As always, communication is the key to find your way out of such differences.

 

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11. Being Fickle

As humans, we are naturally attuned to look at attractive faces. While it is okay to let your gaze land on someone attractive for some extra seconds, it is important to not let things go beyond that point. Cheating in relationships is one of the leading reasons for divorce, and there is no surprise in that.

Solution: Remember point one. If you have married someone for all the right reasons and have accepted that person in totality then there are high chances you may never face this issue. In case you still find yourself inclined to cheat then make sure you try understanding the stimulus that is driving you to do so. Remember, being fickle will impact not one but two lives, so be sensible.

 

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[Read More: Why Love Is Blind]

12. Lack Of Trust

Reasons For Divorce - Lack Of Trust

This is worse than the previous point and will causes more damage to your marital life. Suspecting your partner for every move and step he/she takes is calling for trouble in your wedding. In most cases, one of the individual is not will reach a saturation point, eventually leading to a split.

Solution: Marriage is not about being together all the time, it is also about letting each other have their own time. It is quite likely that your spouse may intend to hang out with his/her group of friends, which include people of opposite gender. Let your partner have some independent time, and show him/her that you harbour enough trust in your heart to keep your marriage stable and successful. This takes to the next common reason for divorce.

13. Being Possessive

This is what lack of trust eventually leads to. While having a feeling of ownership about your partner is a good thing, taking it too far is quite unhealthy. There have been cases when couples quarrel just because one of them is so possessive that the partner now dictates what his/her partner will wear and go. It leads to a fight, subsequently leading to reasons for divorce.

Solution: You need to hold hands when you are in a marital relationship but one should not take it too far in literal terms. The solution is quite similar to the previous problem, and it is about having enough trust in your marriage that you can let your partner live his/her own independent life.

14. Unrealistic Expectations

Reasons For Divorce - Unrealistic Expectations

Overall, it comes down to a lack of a pristine vision for your marriage. It is good to have an avant-garde vision for your marriage but one should never carry the baggage of over-the-top expectations. That is simply going to weigh down the flight of your matrimony. Most of us tend to be carried away by the images of a perfect couple leading a perfect life, but marriage is nowhere close to that. While there is nothing wrong to think that way, getting obsessed with that image can lead to clashes, which in turn can have negative repercussions.

Solution: Be practical about your perception of an ideal married life. The best thing to do is to not tag too many goals to it. In case it is your partner who is overambitious then sit down and discuss his/her vision of marriage. You will surely find a common path that’ll lead to a blissful married life.

[Read More: Love Without Expectations]

So the ones you’ve read above are the most commonly-cited reasons for divorce. Remember to always be open and clear with your partner. That will help maintain the romance and friendship in your relationship, eventually leading to a happy and successful marital life.

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