MTV’s Big F And The Changing Face Of Indian Relationships

By Ananya SayeeAnanya Sayee  • 

Say hello to this quiet little web series from an entertainment powerhouse, that is changing the way we view Indian sexuality.


MTV has always been ahead when it came to keeping the vibe, so it comes as no surprise that they’re ahead of the curve this time too. And this time they’re running with something millennial – love and sex in the 21st century. And here’s what they’re trying to say this time:

1. Don’t let someone else make your choices when it comes to love.

We’re in India, a country where younger people, especially girls, didn’t get to have a voice until recently. But now we do, it’s time to use it, and to fight to keep it. Always make your own decisions, when it comes to love, or you’ll end up regretting it if you listened to this friend, or this loved one, or that other guy.

2. Don’t act on gossip.

We’ve all heard some super saucy rumour about someone or the other. Whether they sound true or not, we’re not supposed to make decisions based on them. Or act on them. It’s always a good idea to check. Assuming the best won’t kill you; assuming the worst will hurt others. It’s not worth it.

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3. Size doesn’t matter.

With love or lust, and anything in between. It’s not size, it’s what you do with it that makes the difference. Not the size, not the weight, not the size of your status, or the size of your wallet or the size of your lifespan. As long as you believe in yourself, and never stop putting in your all, size will never matter. Period.

4. If you did the wrong thing, just stop doing the wrong thing, and fix it.

Heck, you must. Otherwise it’s not just your love life that will suffer, everything else about you and your ethics will take a beating too. It doesn’t matter why you did the wrong thing, but once you know you messed up, pull up your socks, go to battle, and be ready to do what you must to fix it.

5. If the other person did not care, then revenge is fair.

See, if the other person cared, or loved you, then it’s not fair. But if he/she didn’t, and you know that for sure, then there’s no point in letting them tear you a new one every time. As long as you get the rules of the game, revenge is cool.

6. Lovers and sexuality come in all colours.

The LGBTQIA status quo in India, and all over the world, has been making headlines. That our Finance heads have seen the light, has not helped. But the truth is, you know your sexuality best, and no one else can tell you who you’re attracted to and who you’re not. And no one else, except for the few who matter, have to know.

7. Make sure you’re happy, or it’s not worth it.

Your pleasure and happiness also matter. Stand up for yourself. Even if you’re going to stay in a bad relationship, doesn’t mean you can’t change it to some extent. Unless it crosses the line,
you can stay, as long as you make sure the other person plays fair.

8. Stand up to the bully.

Stand up to the bully; your bully, your mom’s bully, you GF’s bully. Even if it turns out your bully is the big bad wolf; even if you get nothing in return for it. It’s not a good deed, it’s not kindness, it’s your duty to do that. It’s everybody’s duty to do that.

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9. Don’t be a coward.

It’s easy to hide behind labels and whine about having it tough, but that’s not how you find yourself or real love. And the funny thing is, only the people who really care will go ahead and tell you when you’re being a coward. Find your inner strength and be bold; you have so much to look forward to when you step out of your comfort zone.

10. All men are not the same.

Ironically, this holds for all orientations. Any interaction that involves men has this cliché attached to it. Even men think all men are the same; that they think the same way, feel the same stuff, and do the same things. It’s not like that. Sure some stuff looks the same, but Coke is not Pepsi, and Pepsi is not Thumbs Up and Thumbs Up is not Coke, and any other probabilities you may include.

Oh, and, all women are not the same either.

11. There are many fish in the ocean.

Whether you’re 18 or 29 or 35 or even 52, there are many fish in the ocean. You can’t call quits on love just because it didn’t work out or it ended. You can’t decide to mourn a loss, and become Devdas. You can’t forget ‘you’ just because he/she died or went away.

12. Don’t follow the crowd, and say shit.

Like, just don’t. Even if you think it will get you friends or put you in the graces of that super cool gang, or increase your ‘value’. If it’s something you can’t say in front of the person you’re saying stuff about, then it’s not something you should be saying at all.

13. Don’t give in to any kind of pressure.

There’s the pressure to look good, the pressure to be ‘in’, the pressure to be bad, the pressure to be hot, the pressure to be wanted, the pressure to be accepted, the pressure to be idolised sometimes. There’s peer pressure, parental pressure, societal pressure, species pressure and that often unspoken of self-pressure to please others. They’re very real, but so is the fight you must wage against them. Keep it cool, keep it real, never give in.

14. It’s okay to give into sexual temptation.

As long as no one’s going to get hurt, anything goes. All you need after that, is consent.

15. Sex is not a commodity.

Sex is not a present you give a guy for being with you; it’s a beautiful and ridiculously good feeling you let someone give you for you giving them/him/her the same feeling. Sex is not love, and it never can be. Love can be sex.

And sex is not something you use to pull a person in. It doesn’t work that way. Your personality can do that, but not the promise of sex.

16. Handicaps don’t define a person.

No they don’t, and you should not be looking at people like that, or judging them based on their shortcomings alone. There’s more to a person that a wheelchair or a stammer or a few extra pounds of flesh. There are people with handicaps, mental and physical, who are cowards and scared to get out of their own zones, but that’s something everyone faces at some point. You can’t judge a caterpillar for not having turned into a butterfly soon enough.

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17. There’s nothing you can’t change

This one is true, but the problem is, if you’re going to go get the Black Pearl, you can’t do that unless you’re Jack Sparrow. So yeah, there are always constraints, and you will need help, but you will have to take that first step toward change.

18. Clean minds see the truth.

The thing is, as long as you think clean and think positive, things will work out. In fact, this one is a fail-safe. Even if the other person doesn’t think along the same lines as you, as long as you think clean, clear and positive, and follow these little lessons, you can actually have a great love-life. And a great sex-life too.

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