10 Sure Shot Ways On How To Get Your Love Back

Love is one of the biggest contradictions in life. It can be blissful and if it doesn’t work out – the biggest stumbling block ever. Assuming you are here because it hasn’t worked out and you are in search of a way you can get him or her back, this is how you do it. The answer is pretty straight forward – be the one he or she hoped you’d be when you guys started out. Straight and simple right? Well, “how to get your love back” depends on how well you pass these ten levels and most importantly – what you will be at the end of it all. So read on and know if you’re up for it!

Level 1: Want Vs. Need

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Like in any game, level one is probably the easiest and also the most decisive, because it is here that you decide whether the game is interesting, challenging and if it is something you want to invest your time and efforts in. So, ask yourself this one question – do you really need him or her back in your life, do you need to get your love back? This is the most crucial decision you’ll ever take in your life, even bigger than actually falling in love – because this decision is the answer for the question that Level 1 is all about, one that could possibly make your life better. Take time, but decide on whether you want to continue or you want to quit, because wanting someone in your life is very different from needing someone – want will fade or can get replaced eventually, but need is a necessity of life. If you do eventually decide that you want that person back, then let’s proceed further, if not, you can stop reading here.

Level 2: Befriend The Stranger In The Mirror

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Congratulations! We’ve heard that your mind and your heart are on the same page – it’s a good thing and we sincerely hope it isn’t an alliance of convenience, because going forward; moves like these will cost you a lot if you just go by your instincts – and if you keep letting your sexy heart seduce your nerdy mind. Level 2 is like one of those practice sessions, where you get to try a few moves and know where you stand. Know what’s going on in the world outside, you do realize that you’ve been out of touch with friends and family right? Meet people; know where life’s heading generally and where you stand. Do you like where you are professionally, academically, mentally and even physically? You have the answers for all those question, take your time and just hear yourself out.

                                                                          [Read More: How To Make A Man Fall In Love With You? ]

Level 3: Borrow Harry Potter’s Invisibility Cloak

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Level 3 is all about realizing that absolutely nobody likes a person who’s desperate. We hope you’ve not been too foolish already in this regard; too many phone calls and messages are a big NO. Accidentally bumping in, meeting up with common friends you’ve never cared to hang out with when you were in a relationship, going to the same stores, cinemas etc. is something you should strongly refrain from doing. If he or she gets a feeling that you’re trying to reach out, mend fences and trying hard to plead or trying to get your love back, then it will only make you look even more desperate and vulnerable. Honestly, such a move will only make it easier for them to move on. Just stay away from your lover – no contact whatsoever, maintain a ‘radio silence’ as they say in times of war. And you don’t have to worry about him or her forgetting you – that isn’t going to happen unless your love suffers from amnesia – in which case you’ll have to go the “50 First Dates” way.

Level 4: The SWOT Analysis

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This stage is the culmination of Level 2, and since Level 3 is more about what not to do, Level 4 is where we get back to positive action. So, coming back to the earlier questions: Are you happy with where you stand in life, how you live your life, where you work or study and what you’ve planned for yourself? Well, if the answer is an affirmative, then your partner was probably mad – because nobody would want to lose a self assured, confident and lovable person who knows what they are doing with their life. However, considering that your lover isn’t completely insane – and assuming for a second that you aren’t either – we are left with the realization that you aren’t happy with what you’ve been doing, or you’ve got it all wrong while putting forth what you believed as your path in life – obviously you wouldn’t be here if you were happy with your life, because your partner would also have been happy and content. You now know where you stand and what you want. Passing Level 3 is important because you now know that you can keep your mouth shut, and live without desperately trying to plead, beg, impress and try to win your love back. Now that you know where you stand, mark your SWOTs (strengths, weaknesses, opportunities and threats), work towards building on them, and hurrah, you’ve passed Level 4 even without realising it.

Level 5: Know Your Weaknesses

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It is said that we succumb to our temptations and weakness far more than we care about our strengths (in this case, things that are good actually for us). Let’s deal with the “Weaknesses and Threats” in the SWOT first. It is very important for you to keep your lousy heart out of this deal – because you could very well assume something that is strength to be a weakness. It is very natural, but you’ve to get a grip on things and kick the clumsy heart out. Let me explain – it is not always the case, but there is every chance that your love will get into a new relationship. It is a rebound relationship and it is to be seen in that sense. I know your heart is planning a nuclear attack and is strolling through the arms market to buy the most lethal stuff on sale, while on the other hand – your mind is all sad and sordid, crying its heart out in a lowly street bar. This is where you need to realise, the war is all in your head – it isn’t about the guy or girl your lover is dating but how your crazy heart is winning over your mind. The date is an opportunity, it is not a threat – tell yourself that. It means that your love isn’t as good as you are with handling life without a partner – without you. He or she was looking for a shoulder to cry on and there you have it. This in fact is an opportunity – because you will be on his or her mind and the fact remains that you aren’t in contact. The desperate for love, pleading lover he or she has known is not to be heard of. Your lover will be damn curious and leaving them alone as they date will only make your love miss you even more. So Level 5 is to realise that the many threats you’ve falsely imagined aren’t threats at all. If you want to get your love back, it is important to critically assess where you’ve actually gone wrong, what your weaknesses are and to consciously start working on them. Be patient, right every wrong and the tide will turn. So you now know where you stand, what’s gone wrong, how to go about it, and when not to worry.

[Read more: 5 Tips For Boys to Win Her Heart]

Level 6: Become The Person You Promised You’d Be

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Great work, you’re half way up the ladder! This is the stage that you need no guidance about, you just need to build on your strengths and make the best use of every opportunity that comes your way. It is your chance to be the person your lover had always imagined you to be, and to be honest – what you had promised them (and yourself) you’d be. Get to work, get fit, learn new things, choose a career or a path you’ve always wanted pursue, pick up that hobby you’d been putting off for so long and realise you are doing this for yourself too. Actually this is all for yourself – getting your love back is just a path to self perfection. This is the stage where you are back in the game – like a star.

Level 7: Reclaim Yourself

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Look at yourself in the mirror and you’ll be happy with what you see. You aren’t as desperate as before to win him or her back – you are getting ready, and we promise you’ll win the game if you stay on track. Level 7 is like a getting ready for the fight, much like how a matador prepares before he goes in to tame the bull, or how a pilot prepares himself for takeoff. A healthy body – check, a strong mind – yes, a reasonable dream and a clear plan – yes. Let me explain, it is not necessary to have good looks, everyone isn’t a Brad Pitt or Angelina Jolie, a healthy and a fit body is very much a sign that you are mentally fit and disciplined. Anyone would look attractive then; it isn’t about the shape or size. It is also important for you to clear your mind. You are like a war machine in its prime – you can do anything and you are good at whatever you do. This stage is about building your confidence, being the person and the personality that you want to be. It’s that phase where the heart walks up and gives the mind a pat on the back. You’ve reclaimed yourself.

Level 8: Get In Touch, Unveil Version 2.0

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Oh boy, you are one determined player! Congratulations on reaching Level 8, know that you’re almost there. Now is the time to get back in touch, so call, text or generally bump in. It is like your heart’s day out. Let it choose when, where or how you’d want to get back in touch. But we all know, that your mind’s a clever fellow – he’s always on the watch, and now that the heart and the mind are like colleagues if not the best of buddies yet, it is important for you to know that it is possible that your love might still be in a relationship, and you’ve no right whatsoever to try and mess things up with his or her “rebound”. The fact that you know it, and have kept your distance will surely make him or her respect you a little bit more. Be cool, be calm and just let him or her see you – know you as you are now – like a wax polished, bright red, supercharged Ferrari parked outside the convenience store. He or she will be stunned for sure, because this wasn’t that old Chevy they’ve left at the scrap yard (but let’s get on, bygones ARE bygones), but still don’t let your happy-drunk heart take control and screw up. Be there in the car park, we know it’s hot out there are the seats are burning, but stay where you are – let your love see this Ferrari in all its glory, as he or she walks back to the Toyota and then, it’ll hit them. Your lover’s mind and heart will be at war. Give them (your lover’s heart and mind) time to sort things out before your lover actually realises that while the Toyota is a useful car that’s been there for them when they needed it, it is not something that they’d want in their garage when they retire in the Bahamas.

Level 9: KO – The Knockout Move You’ve Worked So Hard For

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This is it, the toughest level of the game, or to put it in perspective – the path you take and direction in which your life is going to move in. Here’s where you stand, and with all the points in your kitty as you rose through the levels – your love knows that you ARE a Ferrari, one that is way better than the rest and actually something he or she thought you would be, back then. Drive past, stop by and ask your partner if he or she is game for a ride (no pun intended). By now, your equation with your partner has surely improved; he or she knows what you are and how you’ve become this amazing player in the game. You aren’t that helpless Chevy begging for a tow. Your partner will be impressed, but again – stop and listen to what your mind has to say, because he does make sense sometimes. “When” is the big question, the big leap of faith in Level 9, and to be honest – you need to place your bets on it. It is that subtle difference between a want and a need. Let’s go back to Level 2 for a moment – what was the key there? It was about deciding if he or she is someone you WANT or someone you NEED. Your lover, right now is there where you were – WW III is happening in his or head right now, and it sure is an easy guess what the tussle between the heart and the mind is. Give your lover sometime, you take some time too – you’re kind of friends now. You can go for a movie, or maybe hang out with friends and you know get to know each other better, all over again. It is important to sit, chat and share things with your partner here. Every step is like a trapdoor and you’ve to choose your words wisely. Be honest and design a situation where you two will end up talking about love, and how you feel and what’s gone wrong. You two as individuals will know each other, yet you’ll be in a state where you can discuss things in a detached sort of way. Know what his or her perspective actually is, and you could give your partner some confidence by telling them what you’ve learnt in the time spent apart and how you’ve learnt it.

[Read More: When Love Is Not Enough – The Road Ahead!]

Level 10: Happily Ever After

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YOU WIN! Let me tell you something, a secret that I’ve craftily been keeping to myself so far. Level 10 is the final level and when you actually get there you realize that it isn’t completely about your partner. It is about you too, you’ve learnt to give yourself some respect, worked hard and you are now the person you’ve always wanted to be. The whole game is, in a sense was/is still a gamble. But it was a calculated move, there is a chance that you could be one unlucky soul at the end of it all – like those one in a million geniuses who’ve been the best but have got no credit for it until it was too late. But again, that is a 1:10000000 probability, the stakes are stacked up in favour of the way it’s meant to be, happily ever after.