Life After Marriage: Dream Or Delusion?

Life After Marriage

Life After Marriage; Life is beautiful. But one does not really live life to the fullest if one isn’t truly happy. There are so many debates and discussions where ‘singletons’ claim their life is better and happier, while married folks debate in their favor. I think one cannot really debate such questions. After all, each one’s life is completely different from another’s. Just like our fingerprints are unique, each person’s life is unique too – married or not!

That being said, marriage is a beautiful part of life. Marry when you are ready and not because your parents want you to get hitched, or your neighbor is bringing proposals, or just because your friends are getting married. Life definitely changes after getting married and unless you are convinced about bringing in these changes, don’t! And hey, change is always good, love advice or not. I’m not here to take sides or give my personal opinion but just talking about life after marriage.

Life After Marriage - 2

The very first thing that makes a difference is whether you have an arranged or love marriage. Well, I’m not saying the marriage is different in any way but when we look at life after marriage, there are certain differences. I mean, the whole point of knowing your partner through and through versus being married to a stranger (sort of) does make a difference right?

[Read More: A Happy Marriage]

Life After Marriage – The Common Changes

1. Shared Space

Life After Marriage – Shared Space

Once you are married, everything becomes ‘shared.’ Your room, cupboard, washroom, tables, chair… even the air you breathe! You need to allow the other person to ‘share’ not just your space but your life after marriage too. Responsibilities, tensions, happiness etc. are all shared.

2. Family Needs

By family needs, I’m talking about your family (you and your partner) and your extended family (parents, siblings and the rest of the relatives). It takes a lot of time and patience to get to know your partner’s family, their likes, rituals, peeves and needs. If you want a happy life after marriage, it’s important to connect with your partner’s family. How you do it depends on you.

3. Priorities

Life After Marriage – Priorities

Yes, your priorities definitely will change once you are married. You no longer are ‘single.’ You would still get to meet your gang of friends either with your partner or alone just like old times, but then there are so many new things you and your partner will discover and make a part of your routine that you will see your priorities change. How you adapt to life after marriage is the key.

[Read More: Love Marriage Vs Arranged Marriage]

4. A Lifetime Friend!

Your partner needs to be a friend to you (and vice versa) if you want a successful and happy marriage. Both need to be each other’s support and play the role of a ‘bestie.’ Couples who are happily and blissfully married often say that their partner is their best friend.

5. Be The Home

Life After Marriage – Be The Home

Well, it’s people who turn a house of bricks into a home of love. You need to put in all your efforts to make a happy healthy home that both of you cherish and can’t wait to be in. Your home needs to be your den; your shared den of dreams and love in your life after marriage, the backdrop to your Laila Majnu love story.

8 Rules For Happy Marriage Life:

1. Keep Egos Away

Life After Marriage – Keep Egos Away

Egos eat up relationships! Ego and love cannot survive together and especially so in marriage. Never allow your ego to take decisions on your behalf and never ever let your ego be more important than your partner.

[Read More: Benefits Of Marriage]

2. Appreciate

It’s human nature to seek appreciation in life; always be generous with kind words of appreciation for your partner. A simple word, action or deed done out of love and appreciation can cement relationships and your life after marriage for a long time.

3. Don’t Wake Up Angry!

Life After Marriage – Don’t Wake Up Angry!

Every couple fights and argues; but the successful couples know where to draw the line. Going to bed angry and waking up angry will only exhaust you and not get things moving forward. Talk it out, solve it, discuss it and GET OVER IT!

4. Marriage Of Equals

No partner is superior or has the upper hand; both are equals in every aspect. A marriage of equals is a marriage of love. If any one tries to gain the upper hand or the authority when it’s about a life after marriage, the ship will sink.

5. Special Moments

Life After Marriage – Special Moments

Both partners need to make the effort of bringing in special moments to the relationship. Just don’t wait for the other one to do it; remember the equality part. Take the first step and your partner will definitely take the rest of the steps with you for life after marriage and forever after..

[Read More: How To Be A Good Husband]

6. Stress Busters

Constantly keep reinventing ways to break the routine. Do not let stress of life trickle down into your marital life. Engage in activities together, give each other space, enhance the quality of your life after marriage at home… just keep at it!

7. Be Proud

Life After Marriage – Be Proud

Be proud of your partner, their achievements, their success, hard work and the efforts they make. It’s important for everyone to know that their partner supports their dreams and is proud of them. It’s a great feeling!

8. Love For Family

Accept, respect and build relationships with each others families. Just like your parents and siblings mean the world to you, your partner feels the same about theirs. Never undermine each others families or relatives.

Unfortunately, there is no ‘user guide’ for marriage and fortunately every marriage is unique in its own way! No one can guarantee or promise how life after marriage will be. As long as you do your part and your partner does his/hers, that’s all that matters. There are so many couples who say that ‘it just didn’t work out’ and I’m not judging anyone because what happens between a couple cannot be understood by anyone else.

Marriage is a sacred union of two people who are ready to share the rest of the journey as one. Yes, that’s how it should be. A marriage cannot and will not work if the partners want to be carrying on with their individual journeys. It’s like the two wheels of a bike; both are equally important!

What Is A Successful Marriage?

What-Is-A-Successful-Marriage--Life after marriage

I would like to believe I have the answer to this, but I only know what holds true for my own marriage. I have always believed that teamwork, mutual respect and love are the ingredients of a successful marriage. Yes, there are more elements like sharing responsibilities, helping one another and being supportive, but doesn’t that hold true for every relationship?

The reason why most people are so anxious about this whole ‘life after marriage’ thought is because marriage is a choice. I mean you may not like a cousin or an aunt, but you can’t choose not to be related. Marriage is fragile because just like you have the option to walk in, you also have the option to walk out. You might be scared about what would happen if it doesn’t work out. It is natural to be scared or have doubts. And the only reason we have these doubts is because at the back of our mind we know we can walk out. As soon as you start believing that marriage is a lifetime commitment and that you will make it work no matter what, your anxieties will fly out of the window.

STOP PREDICTING! STOP ASSUMING!

You have got to stop worrying yourself sick about how life after marriage will be. The more you stress over it, the more complicated it will seem. And the more you talk to people, the more confused you will be. Everyone has an opinion and the more opinions you absorb, the more questions, doubts and negative thoughts will creep in.

STOP-PREDICTING!-STOP-ASSUMING--Life after marriage

Life after marriage is just that… LIFE! You will still be the same beautiful person you are, your family will still be right beside you and you will have someone special right by your side to share all the happiness life offers. Come on guys, it’s a DOUBLE BONANZA! You get to call someone your own for life. You have a best friend for life. You have a guaranteed 4 a.m. friend. You have someone to be sad with, happy with, excited with, scared with and crazy with.

There are no set tips for happy marriage life because your happiness is in your control. Your partner cannot control your happiness, only you can. And all you can do is give that happiness to your partner too. Just be yourself. Don’t pretend to be something you are not, because the best of you will get hidden or fade away.

So, life after marriage huh? I hope I’ve been of some help. Let me know if you have some questions or anything at all that you want to share about life after marriage.

SHARE THIS STORY ON FACEBOOK