How to Tell Someone You Like Them: 17 Therapist-Approved Ways to Share Your Feelings
Embrace honesty with heartfelt expressions that deepen emotional bonds.
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How to Tell Someone You Like Them: Therapist-Recommended Ways to Share Your Feelings
Expressing romantic interest can be both exhilarating and intimidating. Whether it’s your best friend, a new crush, or someone you’ve been dating, finding the right way to communicate your feelings is essential. Drawing on insight from leading relationship therapists, this guide walks you through 17 best strategies for telling someone you like them, including specific phrases, contextual tips, and expert advice. Read on to find authentic, effective approaches for initiating a potentially life-changing conversation.
Why Telling Someone You Like Them Can Feel So Hard
Revealing attraction puts our vulnerability front and center. Most people fear rejection, embarrassment, or changing the dynamics of their relationship. Experts agree that preparation and authenticity go a long way: the right words and the right timing make all the difference, regardless of outcome.
17 Therapist-Recommended Ways to Tell Someone You Like Them
Below are 17 phrases and strategies suggested by leading psychotherapists and relationship experts. These methods strike a balance between honesty and comfort, while allowing for your individual style and the nature of your relationship.
- “I really like spending time with you.”
This straightforward, gentle statement is ideal for both new connections and established friendships. According to psychotherapist Gloria Zhang, simple phrases often carry the deepest meaning. - “I have fun when I’m with you.”
Expressing the joy you feel in their presence lets your crush know they have a positive effect on you. Amy Morin, LCSW, emphasizes that people enjoy feeling liked and appreciated. - “You bring positivity into my life.”
Relationship expert Rebecca Marcus recommends focusing on the impact someone has on your mood and mindset, reinforcing their value in your life. - “I find myself smiling when we’re talking or hanging out.”
This phrase shares your emotional response, helping the other person feel welcomed and wanted. - “You make things more enjoyable.”
A playful compliment, this affirms their unique influence and can spark warmer, lighter conversation. - “I always look forward to seeing you.”
Showing anticipation fosters connection and reveals your enthusiasm for your time together. - “I think you’re really interesting/funny/smart.”
These adjectives can be tailored to your crush’s personality and build their confidence in your affection. - “I like getting to know you.”
Subtle yet direct, this phrase is perfect for early-stage relationships or online connections. - “I feel comfortable around you.”
Therapists note that emotional safety is a strong indicator of chemistry and mutual interest. - “You’re someone I care about.”
Expressing care, rather than outright romance, can open the door for deeper conversations. - “I find myself thinking about you.”
Gently reveals that they’re on your mind, hinting at meaningful feelings. - “I appreciate our friendship—and sometimes I wonder if there could be more.”
This gives them room to consider their own feelings, especially if you’re currently friends. - “You have qualities I admire.”
Personal compliments are thoughtful and specific, making your affection clear without overwhelming. - “Spending time with you feels different—in a good way.”
Lets your crush know that there’s something special about your connection. - “I’ve wanted to tell you for a while—I like you.”
Sometimes, directness is the best approach. If you’re certain about your feelings, bold honesty can be refreshing. - “I feel a connection with you—is that something you sense too?”
Invites dialogue and gives the other person freedom to share their perspective. - “You make my day—just thought you should know.”
Sharing appreciation, even briefly, brings positivity and warmth into your conversation.
Expert Tips for Preparing to Share Your Feelings
Relationship therapists recommend the following steps to prepare for the moment:
- Reflect on your motives. Consider why you want to share—are you seeking clarity, emotional fulfillment, or hoping to deepen your bond?
- Practice active listening. Be attentive to their cues so you can respond appropriately to their reaction.
- Choose the right context. A calm and private setting, rather than a loud or crowded environment, is ideal.
- Accept all possible outcomes. Be ready for any answer and respect your crush’s feelings—whether they reciprocate or not.
- Avoid rehearsed speeches. Genuine, concise communication works better than dramatic monologues.
Indirect Ways to Express Your Interest
If you’re nervous about direct confession, therapists suggest these indirect approaches:
- Show interest through your actions.
Doing something thoughtful—like sharing a coffee, sending a meme about their interests, or providing gentle support—can be powerful indicators of attraction. - Share experiences.
Invite them to events, introduce them to friends, or suggest new activities together—these steps reveal your desire to grow closer. - Compliment sincerely and frequently.
Notice little things and reflect them back, either verbally or via text. - Stay present and engaged.
Pay genuine attention during conversations, showing you value their perspective.
How to Handle Different Scenarios
Should you decide to share your feelings, context matters. Here are suggestions for common circumstances:
| Situation | Recommended Approach |
|---|---|
| Long-time Friend | Start by expressing how much you value the friendship. Use gradual, honest statements to test their receptivity. |
| Online or Dating App Connection | Use playful responses, creative compliments, and suggest an in-person interaction when comfortable. |
| Work or School | Keep communication respectful and low-pressure. Mention your enjoyment of their company and see if they respond positively. |
| Third Place (like a café or gym) | Approach with light conversation and subtle compliments. Choose public but not crowded settings for comfortable interactions. |
What to Do If Your Crush Is Seeing Someone Else
If you discover your crush is in a relationship, therapists strongly advise respecting boundaries. Focus on maintaining respect and consider keeping your feelings private unless you are certain it’s appropriate and respectful to share. Honor their relationship status and prioritize friendship or healthy distance.
Conversation Starters: Questions to Help You Connect
Sometimes, the hardest part is simply beginning. Try these engaging conversation starters to deepen rapport and help gauge mutual interest:
- What’s something you wish you did more often?
- If you could travel anywhere, where would you go?
- What are you passionate about outside of work or school?
- What’s the most interesting movie/show/book you’ve experienced lately?
- If you had a superpower, what would you choose?
Common Mistakes to Avoid
- Overthinking or waiting too long
Delaying your confession can lead to missed opportunities and regret. - Using vague language
Unclear hints can create confusion; be concise and honest. - Confessing via social media
Public or impersonal venues may make your crush uncomfortable. Choose direct messages or private conversations. - Trying to manipulate or force the conversation
Authenticity is key—let the discussion flow naturally and respect their responses.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
Q: Should I risk telling someone I like them even if I fear rejection?
A: Yes, but prepare yourself emotionally for all possibilities. Expressing your feelings is a form of self-respect and honesty. Many therapists agree that clear communication, even if it leads to disappointment, is healthier than silent longing.
Q: Is it ever okay to hint instead of say it outright?
A: If you’re uncomfortable with direct statements, try showing affection through actions, compliments, and shared experiences. Just be aware that hints are sometimes missed—clarity is usually better when the time feels right.
Q: What is the best way to tell someone you like them if you’re friends?
A: Frame your feelings with appreciation of the friendship. Use “I value our connection and wanted to share…” to maintain respect while expressing your desire for more.
Q: How do I start the conversation if I’m not sure about their feelings?
A: You might say, “I’ve wanted to talk to you about something—I feel a connection between us. Have you felt that, too?” This opens the door gently while inviting their perspective.
Q: How should I respond if they don’t share my feelings?
A: Thank them for their honesty and communicate your respect for them. Give yourself permission to feel disappointed, but continue nurturing your self-worth and seek closure if needed.
Expert Advice and Sources
- Gloria Zhang, M.A., Registered Psychotherapist, Host of The Inner Child Podcast
- Amy Morin, LCSW, Author and Psychotherapist
- Rebecca Marcus, LCSW—Relationship Expert and Speaker
- Kayla Crane, LMFT, South Denver Therapy
Conclusion
Telling someone you like them is rarely easy, but the rewards of vulnerability and honesty often outweigh the risks. By using therapist-endorsed phrases, preparing mindfully, and customizing your approach for the situation, you can navigate one of life’s most pivotal and exciting moments with confidence and grace. Remember, genuine connection starts with clear communication—and being true to your feelings is always a powerful first step.
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