How To Overcome Love Addiction – 14 Action Steps

By Aadithyan Mohan KAadithyan Mohan K, 10  • 

If you’re reading this, chances are that you’ve been searching for something like this; it’s a death sentence of sort anyway, since you’re actually at the point where you’re googling ‘how to overcome love addiction’ at like 3 am. You’re not quite sure what it is, but the words ‘love addiction’ come closest to describing your situation, and those are what you’ve typed specifically. You’re not alone.

If you’ve just happened to chance upon this page however, especially if you’re coming from a corner of the internet that has just memes and cats, you might be slightly confused as to what ‘love addiction’ might be, and why it warrants a recovery plan. Let us explain:

What Is Love Addiction?

Love addiction is a toxic form of a relationship that you’ve formed with another (usually aloof or love addicted) person that begins to (and manages to, usually) take over every sphere of your life.

It’s a dependency that we know is no good; it’s making promises we know we shouldn’t be making; it’s a difficulty we experience in ending things when we know that’s the right course of action.
Love addiction is putting your partner on a pedestal and overlooking serious and glaring character flaws, and ignoring their multiple transgressions.
Love addiction acts very much like a drug addiction would, riddling your brain with chemicals that it craves, and how to overcome love addiction even involves its very own 12 step program. But let’s leave that aside for now.

How To Overcome Love Addiction And Get Away From Its Creeping Vines – How Do You Do It, For Real?

Like any other substance addiction, overcoming love addiction is about recognizing and changing patterns.

Here are the things that you have to do (in order) to change your behaviour and lifestyle.

1. Admit that you need help.
You are already here, so that’s great. The first step to learn how to overcome love addiction issues, is knowing what you’re up against. Sometimes, it’s a big part of you that you’re gonna be going head to head with.

2. Recognise that the object of your desires is only human.
No matter how many times you alluded otherwise.

[Read More: How To Get Over Someone You Love Deeply ?]

3. Realise that you have your flaws as well, particularly your thinking.
Saying “I can’t live without you because I do not want to be lonely” and then investing time in pursuing this one or any another relationship isn’t the same as being in love. One of the biggest issues, when it comes to how to overcome love addiction, is admitting what drives that addiction- loneliness, a need for approval, self-validation, or something else.

4. Recognise that you are forever pursuing the other’s validation.
Validation should come from within, not from anyone else.

5. Remember the bad times.
Whenever there is any threat of the relationship (or contact) being lost, all the best memories come flooding back, but the terrible ones seem to be lost. You really wanna know how to overcome love addiction? Remember all the bad stuff, all of it.

6. Know it’s not the end of the world.
Do you really think you have the most romantic and beautiful relationship in the world? Many others throughout history have survived much worse, and so will you. In fact, you’ll probably be better off without it.

7. Know that being loved and wanting to be loved are completely different.
And that you don’t have the power to make someone feel a particular way about you. You can try, but you can never definitely change how they will. Even science backs that.

[Read More: Sad Love Quotes ]

8. Many fish in the ocean.

Realize that there are 7+ billion people in this world (and counting), and even after sorting for gender, age, region, and your very specific physical features set, there are a lot of interesting people out there (a few possible potential lovers too). Another key on how to overcome love addiction issues, is knowing that this right here is not ‘it’.

Any takers?

9. See your friends.
Being withdrawn from your pals does no good. You need to re-establish all of the things that made you happy before you fell in ‘love’ (and got addicted to it). Your friends are your biggest worldly strengths, when its about how to overcome love addiction, or anything else.

10. Live your life.
Don’t stay back and sulk when others are going out for a movie. Go for drives, take a mini vacation, eat out, meet people… there’s a lot to do, and staying indoors and moping is the least fun way on how to overcome love addiction.

11. Take responsibility.
You are always at least partially responsible for your current situation (the only exception is natural disasters and random destructive meteors), so stop blaming or being the victim. Think about how you got to where you are, and how much of your powers you gave up.

12. Take care of yourself.
This one’s so important when you think about how to overcome love addiction. Losing will is the first thing that happens to those battling love addiction, so work on getting it back. Smoking, drinking and crying take no will, but showering, shaving, brushing your teeth, making it in for class or work, washing the bike, walking the dog, using sunscreen and clipping your nails… all of these take work and are things you should be doing.

13. Love yourself!
Somewhere down the line, you were not happy with who you were, and were looking for external validation. That is why you’re in this mess. Realise that lasting self-worth doesn’t come from the approval of others, it comes from within, so work on whatever you need to be happy with who you are.

                                                          [Read More: How To Break Up With Someone You Love In 7 Steps]

14. Be sincere.
Being love addicted often means letting go of sincerity and doing anything it takes to make sure the object of your desires remains with you and makes you feel good. Don’t be that person. Be sincere in everything you do, and learn to be earnest.

Images Source: Shutterstock

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