How To Know If A Girl Loves You? 21 Pointers You Need To Know

Written by Jayant Menon Experience: 15 years

A friend of mine once interrupted a sorrowful tale that I was in the middle of regaling, to remark, “Half of all of our relationships are lived in our heads.” Pithy as the offhand statement was, it was only after I was done unburdening my chest and sharing my tales of frittered love, did I stop to think what it could have meant, and why he had said it. The answer to the first of these questions, I believe, is vitally important to anyone fearful of giving their heart away, and therefore, to most of us.

What he meant, I think, is that a central condition of what it means to be human dictates that we always want to be sure of the next step we’re taking. Sure, in some scenarios we are known to gamble, but in most instances, especially those relating to the heart, we would prefer to not rush in, look a fool, get hurt etc. and to know that our time, love, and money are well invested in this particular venture.

Unlike a business proposal or advertising campaign, however, there is little tangible data available to us, and whatever little there is, is devilishly hard to deconstruct into patently good or patently bad, when it comes to supporting your decision.

So, then how to know if a girl loves you? We’ve already established that lines and statistics are of little use here, but that doesn’t mean it can’t be done. What you have to do is look out for these 21 signs, and if you observe the majority of them, then you can be sure that the girl that you’ve been with all this time really does love you back, and oh, if you need engagement ring ideas, you know where to look.

Let’s get started. Here are 21 signs, some of which are not so obvious, with which you can know if your girl really loves you.

1. Touchy Feely Her

Women who care deeply about you will take every chance they can get to touch you, and the setting doesn’t have to be a romantic or sensual one. Smoothening your hair, brushing your cheek or grabbing you by the arm, it all counts, they love the fact that the men they care for are within reach.

2. She Genuinely Listens

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We’ve all heard about how men don’t listen, but considering it’s not 1950 any more and gender stereotyping is a lot less overt, we can plainly say that anyone who doesn’t like anyone won’t listen to anything they have to say. What we’re saying is, if your girl asks you how your day was and genuinely waits for/expects/listens to your answer, she’s sincerely in love for you. No one else has time for that kind of stuff.

[Read More: What To Say When Asked “Why Do You Love Me?”]

3. She Keeps You On A Long Leash

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And no, that doesn’t mean that you have the freedom to do whatever you want because she doesn’t care. On the contrary, she understands how much you enjoy spending time with friends, attending to your interests and the fact that being together all the time isn’t something that is conducive (or viable) to long term love. It takes courage and it takes trust – traits that aren’t easy to muster for anyone you don’t really love.

4. She Trusts You(r version of events)

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Speaking of it, if your girl’s interrogations aren’t usually followed by desires for further clarifications or challenges, then you’re in luck. She really does care. It isn’t that she’s clueless or takes what you say at face value; it’s that she trusts you to truthfully tell her what went on.

5. She’s Understanding

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When she does listen to your story, and it contains certain anomalies like “I don’t know”, “I can’t remember” or “I drank too much and couldn’t drive home”, and “I left the phone in the car” or I’m sorry,” she doesn’t go wild with rage, but rather considers your statements and (based on the assumption that you’re being truthful) decides to let it go, as a one time thing. If you have a girlfriend that does this, buy her some flowers immediately to apologize for you’re a lucky man.

6. She Always Wants To Be Around You

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If you find that your girl always finds a reason to be around you, then it is a sign that she deeply cares for you, that she is in love with you. Whether you’re going shopping for groceries, going to visit an unwell friend or are looking to pursue your hobby of flying remote controlled airplanes at the park, if your girl wants to be around for all of those and more, it is a very good sign.

7. Consistency

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She consistently maintains that she cares for you, and her actions backup those words. Even when she’s in a low mood or after you’ve just had an argument, if she doesn’t change her tune to one of regret or displeasure, but maintains that she wants to be with you and will work towards a solution to your disagreements, you can be sure that no one who doesn’t love you deeply will ever make such a decision.

8. Family

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If your girl introduces you to her family and close friends, and they know not just your name but also what you do, where your interests lie, and how you like your eggs, you know that she takes her relationship with you very seriously and she wants to stick around in the long run.

9. Affirming

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Having a girlfriend who supports you in all of your endeavours is a really good feeling and support system to have. It is also a sign that she cares deeply for you and wants you to succeed at everything you do. There is no hidden jealousy and even if there is a tinge of insecurity, it is dwarfed by her desire for you to be the best at all that you attempt, and no girl who doesn’t love you wholly will ever even care about your endeavours.

10. Gifts

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If you find your girl routinely buying you all kinds of gifts and trinkets, and the reason is a “just because” or “I thought that you would like it”, then this is a sure shot sign that she is very much into you, and even more tellingly, thinks about you and your needs often. They don’t have to be flashy or expensive gifts, but even useful items she has noticed you are in need of and the like.

11. Helpful

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If your girl always seems to find time in her busy schedule to help you out, then you know you have landed a keeper. Whether it is helping prepare that nice meal you want to make to impress your boss, or the tedious excel sheet that you just can’t seem to wrap your head around, if you find your girl taking time out to sit with you and be productive in any endeavour that directly benefits you and does nothing for her, then she’s thinks of the both of you as one entity, and that is a very good thing.

12. Nursing

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Making soup and sandwiches when you’re down with flu is something that no one will ever do for you with the exception of your mother. This is a very big sign, because no one who doesn’t care will ever take up the arduous task of nursing someone else back to health, unless it is their job of course.

[Read More: Which TV Couple Do And Your Partner Resemble The Most?]

13. Communicates (returns texts fast, tells you about stuff, doesn’t freak out)

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Communication is another big indicator as to how much your girl loves you, and whether she does so at all. If you find that she returns your texts very promptly, calls you randomly just because she wants to talk to you or asks how your day is going, and if she doesn’t freak out when you are a little late in returning her calls because she knows the two of you have a solid thing going, she really loves you.

14. She Accepts Your Imperfections

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No one is perfect. It can be your tardiness, your blemished skin, or any other thing that you would be insecure about around anyone else. If she just seems to make your worries go away, and accepts you as the way you are, making you feel no pressure, you know that she really deeply cares about you.

15. She’s Your Best Friend

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This simply means that you can talk to her about anything and everything without fear of being judged. Of course, there are limitations, but the very fact that you can come home and speak your mind about whatever is going on is not to be taken for granted, for she loves you.

16. She Prioritizes Your Needs Above Hers

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It can be the fact that you hog the blanket the night before a big exam or the fact that she makes you breakfast because you’re getting late for work, while skipping hers. These little things show that like any other person in love, her needs melt away in favour of those of the one she loves – you.

17. Fight And Make Up

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Despite the fact that you guys make for an amazing couple, fights are bound to happen, and are part and parcel of every (healthy) relationship. The important thing, of course, is how you deal with such fights and how soon you make up. If you notice that your girl is very much interested in moving past arguments, and is willing to do her bit (provided you are too, of course) in making the relationship whole again, then it is a sure shot sign that she loves you. A bonus is the fact that she wants to patch things up even when the blame lies almost entirely with you.

18. She Remembers Random Stuff

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An excellent and telling sign of whether she’s really in love with you is if she remembers random things that you may have remarked on and inquires about them. For example, you may have mentioned in passing how your meeting might be postponed by a couple of hours and may eat into your lunch time. If she then inquires at the end of the day whether you ate anything at all, even though you were just thinking aloud, she really loves you.

19. She Accepts Differences

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Let’s face it, no matter how alike the two of you are, there are going to be differences in opinion. What to watch on the TV, or which sports team you support are common differences. But when it comes to something major like you being a vegetarian and her preferring seafood with every meal, you know she’s in love with you if she’s ready to compromise and settle differences amicably.

20. She Is Possessive

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She gives you space, sure, but when push comes to shove, she is willing to fight for you, has done so before, and will do so in the future. A very good sign.

[Read More: 7 Signs To Spot A Femme Fatale]

21. Future

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Speaking of the future, if you find that your girl makes references to how much she would like to be with you, makes plans for your future home and its furnishing and suchlike, you should know, of course, that this isn’t really the realm of humor. She’s serious, and she loves you.

So there you have it folks, if your girlfriend exhibits the majority of these signs, don’t throw it all away, because you have in your hands someone truly special who loves being around you, wants to be with you, and really cares for you.


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Jayant Menon

Jayant Menon Freelance Editor and Writer


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