How To Find A Girlfriend: 24 “Real” Tips For Every Single Guy

It is often a guy’s essential dream to find a woman in whom he can find a friend, love interest and confidante. In other words, it is always his quest to find the right girlfriend. For this reason, we have collated the 24 best tips that will come to the rescue of every Indian bachelor for finding his dream girl.

No, “Go to the gym” isn’t on the list, but it helps, and so does brushing your teeth, not wearing the same T-shirt more than three times a week and not letting your nails grow to such an extent that they dig into the palms of the unfortunate soul whose hand you happen to be shaking.

That said, let’s begin.

1. The Grocery Store > Some Random, Dim Bar

How To Find A Girlfriend - The Grocery Store

How to find a girlfriend, step one – look where you go. Okay, so you’re not going to meet the girl of your dreams at the local supermarket, or maybe you will, and you’ll even have something to say about her particular choice of breakfast cereal and share a joke or two… In any case, it’s much better than yelling something unmemorable like “I can’t hear you!” into her ear at the top of your lungs.

2. Get To Know The Community

How To Find A Girlfriend - Get To Know The Community

Home –> commute –> work and vice versa isn’t the best way to meet many girls, that you can be sure of. How about the park, the library, the local red cross, the local blue cross, any other volunteering service, the basketball court, the book club, the badminton court beside the courthouse… Don’t pretend there’s nothing that interests you. Go there, get involved, and not to only eye up all the women. This will loosen up your social skills, and in the long run helps you know how to find a girlfriend, and remain well spoken among those of the opposite sex.

[Read More: 11 Amazing Tips On How To Impress A Girl For Love]

3. Know What You’re Looking For

How To Find A Girlfriend - Know What You're Looking For

Waif thin and model-like isn’t your type. In fact, you haven’t the foggiest idea as to what your type is, so take a pen and a piece of paper and work that out. What is important to you? Looks! Sure, but what else? “Girlfriend material” means different things to different people, and you need to know what it means to you.

Know that some girls enjoy things others wouldn’t be seen near, some are militant, some meek, some like fancy treatment, some are more relaxed and most are a combination of the above and a million other things – so work out what’s important to you. If you don’t know what you innately like, not just based on superficial requirements, how are you gonna know how to find a girlfriend?

4. Get Yourself Some Standards

How To Find A Girlfriend - Get Yourself Some Standards

Yes, unfortunately you’re going to have to work within a realistic framework. Look at women who match the basic criteria for a rough starting guide. You’re not landing a motivated, 5 kilometre jogging soon-to-be lawyer if going to the fridge in between Friends reruns is your only form of exercise (and ambition).

5. An Interesting Person Is A Date-able Person

How To Find A Girlfriend - An Interesting Person Is A Date-able Person

Even if all you do is watch Friends reruns, chances are you’re not at all a boring person, you’re just not engaged with much at the moment and perhaps missing something meaningful that fills you with passion; but that still leaves you pondering on how to find a girlfriend. Well, we bet your references to popular culture and incisive political satire are top notch, but you’re never going to get a chance to show it off if everyone thinks you’re that guy who likes to use two spoons at lunch and nothing else.

6. Approach, Approach, Approach

How To Find A Girlfriend - Approach, Approach, Approach

Talk to women, and talk to them a lot. Talk to them when they’re at the park, on the street, waiting in the office with you, standing in front of you at lunch or anything else. Don’t get so close that they freak out, and certainly don’t indulge them with idle chatter, especially when they look like they’d rather eat a dozen Brussels sprouts than engage in small talk at the moment (which ties in nicely with our next point), but definitely approach them. Get used to having conversations with women; its important not just to know how to find a girlfriend, but to know how to get along with people in general.

7. Tough Skin, Can-Do Attitude

How To Find A Girlfriend - Tough Skin, Can-Do Attitude

You’re a bit worried about approaching women, forget ‘how to find a girlfriend’? Don’t be disheartened if some immediately turn you away because they’re busy, not interested in talking or due to any other reason. Usually, the girl will not mean any offence, and none should be taken. You’re not entitled to having anyone talk to you, and that’s fine. Some may even rather abruptly make an excuse and take leave of you. Maybe you need to work on your conversational skills or maybe it’s just not your day (or hers), but please, for heaven’s sake, don’t let such a triviality stop you from approaching an approachable woman.

8. I Am Me, Slightly Weird And Entirely Real

How To Find A Girlfriend - I Am Me, Slightly Weird And Entirely Real

The next step of this guide on how to find a girlfriend is being you, and being happily you. Give any girl a choice between dating a textbook perfect boyfriend and a rather unusual, slightly strange and all too real man. The difference is that those who choose to talk, go out with, and be with you are doing it for you – and not for the person you’re pretending to be (a task most emotionally draining). And it’s the same with guys, so, quid pro quo.

9. Smile

How To Find A Girlfriend - Smile

Getting caught up in not committing faux pas and looking the part, as well as constantly thinking of whose eyes are on you and whether or not they like what they see can get tiring. And it isn’t very enjoyable, meaning that you can seem like a bit of a grouch at worst, and a bit of a serious person at best. Now it’s fine to be those things occasionally, people are, but it’s not so great when you’re not that and only seem like it.

Smile, lighten up and take in the fact that you’re alive, well and will soon have a girlfriend.

10. Practice & Use Genuine Compliments

How To Find A Girlfriend - Practice And Use Genuine Compliments

A very important point about knowing how to find a girlfriend, is what you say to compliment her. “You are beautiful” is the kind of text that isn’t going to make too much of a splash, and the spoken form of such a message is equally useless. Compliment girls who think are compliment-worthy because, well, you admire something about them. Make references to their work, their sense of style, even their long eyelashes or brown eyes if you’re feeling brazen. Compliment them about things that the average Joe might not have noticed, and when you do compliment their beauty, add in a “but that’s not even the thing I find most interesting about you” caveat. Get creative, not corny.

[Read More: Topics To Talk With Girlfriend ]

11. Laughter: Free And Unfailing

How To Find A Girlfriend - Laughter: Free And Unfailing

Laughter is one of the best tools that we have available to us to engage with an audience – whether it’s TV programs like The Daily Show covering significant topics masked in humour, or it’s you establishing a connection with the girl you like. If you make them laugh, your company will be memorable and enjoyable – it’s that simple.

12. Give It Time

How To Find A Girlfriend - Give It Time

Even if you’re a pro at knowing how to find a girlfriend, finding a girlfriend is a bit like finding a job after getting an English literature or political science degree and I’m speaking from experience here. You feel like jumping on the first chance anyone gives you but it’s probably not for the best.

13. Kill The Conversation (No Awkward Silences)

How To Find A Girlfriend - Kill The Conversation (No Awkward Silences)

Sometimes you get in the groove and get talking, and the conversation will flow and things will be fun, but soon, especially if you don’t have a lot in common or you’ve just met, you”ll run out of things to say. How to find a girlfriend is not just about knowing when to start, but also about knowing when to stop. Instead of desperately scrambling for things to talk about – including mundane observations like how hot it is in India in May – it’s best to end the conversation and pick it up another day, instead of making sure that you never get another chance.

14. Save The Romance For Later

How To Find A Girlfriend - Save The Romance For Later

Maybe a single flower one time for a girl you like – because you passed by them and remembered her mentioning she likes that particular kind (ruling out red roses immediately). That’s fine. No more sweeping romantic acts though, that’s for after you get the girl.

15. Be Fresh: No Recipes, No Formulas

How To Find A Girlfriend - Be Fresh: No Recipes, No Formulas

You’ll read a lot about how you’re supposed to act this way and be that way for “women” to like you. That’s a lot of work for either being told to brush your teeth and correct your posture (don’t tell me you didn’t know these things already), or it’s a lot of work for being someone that you aren’t in the hope that some monolithic “woman” creature likes these exact traits. Bottom point to how to find a girlfriend, women have to like you, just like any stranger would. Work on being the best you, around them and in general.

16. Failure ≠ Death Penalty (Except In Your Head)

How To Find A Girlfriend - Failure ≠ Death Penalty (Except In Your Head)

You’ll get turned down. Sometimes immediately and sometimes after a while. That’s okay. Your thick skin may ensure that you keep trying but there’s a larger picture here – you don’t want to be with someone who doesn’t want to explicitly be with you. There’s nothing wrong with “failing” at your task, just keep learning and think of it as not knowing how to find a girlfriend who’s the one for you, but knowing which ones definitely aren’t.

17. Hang Out With Other Girls

How To Find A Girlfriend - Hang Out With Other Girls

Girls like guys who other girls like, even if (and this is important) those other girls aren’t dating the guy! So hang out with other girls, they might even help you in your cause if they like you enough.

18. Desperation Is Not Sexy

How To Find A Girlfriend - Desperation Is Not Sexy

There’s a story of a guy who asked three different women if they’d like a cup of coffee. All three, slightly taken aback, immediately and politely declined. One was at the store, another at the library, and one in class. The boy didn’t throw a fuss and went about his business, checking books out of the library, buying things at the store and going to class. Soon, all three approached him and wondered if he still wanted to hang out. There are many insights and lessons here, but the main one is in the heading: Don’t be desperate.

19. Listen! Like, Really

How To Find A Girlfriend - Listen! Like, Really

If you listen, you have something to say and keep the conversation (a major tool) flowing. If you don’t listen and think about what to say next, you’ll fumble by having nothing to say, in which case forget mastering the art of how to find a girlfriend, you have to master the art of eloquent conversation.

20. Confidence Is Like A Pair Of Shoes: They May Not Be The Best, But You’ll Never Get Entry Into A Club Without Them

How To Find A Girlfriend - Confidence Is Like A Pair Of Shoes

You need a pair of shoes. They may not be the best, and not appropriate for all occasions, but you need them. Don’t fake anything, just stand up for yourself as being a perfectly reasonable human being, and a product of more years of evolution that you can count in both hands.

21. Be Ready To Commit To A Relationship

How To Find A Girlfriend - Be Ready To Commit To A Relationship

If things do happen, you’re going to get a lot of things you coveted, and have to “deal” with a lot of the things you hadn’t thought about. And this isn’t casual misogyny or a lazy characterization of relationships in general – this is a fact. Responsibility, sacrifice, understanding and privacy – these are issues that get a lot more apparent when you’re no longer alone, so to speak.

22. Live Your Life

How To Find A Girlfriend - Live Your Life

So you’re talking to a girl and you’re tossing up between going to catch a glimpse of her and wooing her further, or go watch the game with your buddies like you do every Saturday. Sure, if you’ve been invited or have an interest in what the girl’s doing, that’s fine, but don’t look lost in a place you have no familiarity or interest in just because you’re there to “run into” a particular girl you know.

23. Date To Be With Her

How To Find A Girlfriend - Date To Be With Her

When you find yourself growing closer to a girl and you’re thinking of asking her to be your girlfriend, think about it as if you’re doing this because you want to be with her and not because you’re using her to compensate for something else – like status or loneliness. Only when you’re sure, proceed on to…

[Read More: 17 Easy Tips To Make Your Girlfriend Love You More]

24. Seal The Deal

How To Find A Girlfriend - Seal The Deal

And we’re onto the last step on how to find a girlfriend! Girls who want to be with you will let you know, sometimes explicitly, other times by letting off fairly blatant (in hindsight) cues. For example: If a girl is texting you at half past three at night on a whim, who you’re any way meeting on the weekend, which is one day away, then that is a damned good sign. There are countless other scenarios, so do some thinking. And when the time is right, don’t leave her hanging. Make your move. Let her know. Ask the question.

And boom.

Images Source: Istock

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