5 Ways To Deal With A Selfish Husband

Love is a two-way street. It’s based on mutual give and take and it can only work when both sides are equally giving. We’ve heard all about ‘unconditional’ love, but hey, there are some conditions to a relationship! Marriages are probably the most sensitive relationships that need maximum work and effort. Unlike the bond you share with your parents and siblings, there is absolutely no way, not for a day, that you can take the relationship (marriage) for granted. No, I’m not saying the relationship is weak but what I am saying is that it needs more than all you have. No relationship can fully blossom if selfishness creeps in and if your husband is selfish, then you have your task cut out.

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A married couple needs to openly share it all – money, time, responsibilities, lows and highs – EVERYTHING! One cannot afford to be selfish. It’s not always about money, some people are selfish when it comes to sharing their time and life in general. Firstly, selfishness is not like a vice, it’s just a way of being for some people. Some people just don’t know the joy of sharing and giving. As a partner, you can be the one who shows your husband how the selfishness is not only affecting you and the marriage but also curbing him from experiencing the pleasure of sharing. Here are 5 things you can do to better deal with a selfish husband:

1. Be The Giver

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To truly make your husband understand, you first need to be the selfless partner. Project how your selflessness nurtures the relationship. Subtly demonstrate the pure bliss and happiness you experience in being selfless and let your husband see how your giving and selflessness is also showering him with joy.

2. Divide And Work

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Be very clear about who is responsible for what. The finances, daily chores, responsibilities and everything must be communicated. This shows your husband the need to share the work that goes into a marriage. Giving up and doing it all by yourself and then cribbing about it does not send out any message. Share your marital duties and responsibilities.

3. Be Soft

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Calling your husband selfish, nagging him for it or just randomly lashing out will only make things worse. Be soft, gentle and patient. Address issues, don’t push them under the carpet. But never do so in an accusing manner. Be gentle.

4. P’s And Q’s

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Make sure you use your ‘thank you’, ‘please’ and ‘sorry’ generously. If your husband does a selfless or sharing act, go out of your way to express how happy it made you. You need him to see the positive effect of his acts. That might make him realize.

5. Always Communicate

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Don’t keep anything locked up inside you. The more you keep things shut in, the worse it is for your own mental state and happiness. Choose a good time when you know your husband will be receptive and talk.

An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind and definitely harms a marriage. Being selfish in return is absolutely not the answer. If you really want to make your marriage work, you need to take up the responsibility of making it work. Running away, cribbing and nagging are useless and reap nothing at all. The flip-side of selfishness is selflessness and once, just once, if you can make your husband see the flip-side… it’s all uphill from there. You are strong enough to take up the responsibility for two, just be patient. Any more tips or suggestions?

Images Source: Istock

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