21 Helpful Tips To Ask A Girl For A Date

Take help from these tips if asking a girl out for a date is nerve-wracking for you.

Reviewed by Sharon Gilchrest O’Neill, Ed.S., LMFT Sharon Gilchrest O’Neill Sharon Gilchrest O’NeillEd.S., LMFT twitter_iconyoutube_icon Specialty: Marriage & Family TherapyExperience: 8 years
Written by sanjana lagudu
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So you like a certain woman and want to spend some quality time with her. You want to shut out the world and just be with her and enjoy the moment. When you are at this juncture, the most obvious question that may come to your mind is how to ask a girl on a date or what is the nice way to ask her out? After all, you want to leave a fabulous impression on her which can take her off her feet and compel her to say ‘yes.’

While you want to do this perfectly, stressing too much about it will not help. If you are lost for ideas about how to ask her out on a date, read this post which lists some of the best ways you can do so easily.

Tips To Remember Before Asking A Girl Out On A Date 

Here are a few things to keep in mind before making your move and asking a girl out on a first date.

1. Figure out if she is interested 

Before approaching a girl for a date, try to figure out if she is into you. Understanding this would help you assess your chances of success and decide whether you should go ahead. Check her body language. Is she giving you kind and responsive looks? Has she smiled when you caught her eye? Does she lean in close during a conversation?

Notice whether she tries to initiate conversations with you using random excuses. Such cues are good indicators of her interest. Once you know she is interested, go ahead and ask her out.

2. Be confident 

Confidence is the key to landing a date. If you seem hesitant or awkward, you might get written off. If you are confident, you will make a strong impression, thus winning half the battle.

Even if you are nervous, act confident. Straighten your shoulders, keep your chest high, look directly into her eyes, and smile when you ask her out. Making eye contact would make you appear trustworthy, giving you another bonus point.

3. Don’t try too hard 

When asking a woman out on a date, act natural. Don’t go overboard with compliments or flirt overtly to impress her. If you are not a funny person, avoid making silly jokes. Trying too hard to be charismatic or funny would make you appear fake. She might sense it and reject you. Put your best foot forward, but be yourself. A sincere compliment, light flirting, or simply stating your interest might win you a date with her.

4. Establish a good rapport with her 

Forging a natural bond with a girl you want to ask out would help you understand her as a person. It would make it easier to ask her out. Spending more time with her would allow you plenty of opportunities to let her know your intentions. She might get the message and communicate how she feels.

The chances of her saying yes would also go up once she knows you well and trusts you. So get to know her by asking questions about her background, travels, dreams, and aspirations. Listen carefully to her likes and dislikes. Share details about your own life to help her get comfortable with you.

5. Be presentable 

The adage, “Clothes make the man,” is an important one to follow. A well-dressed man makes a good impression and has a better chance of getting a date. This doesn’t mean you have to wear high-end brands. Just be presentable. Wear clean clothes that fit and are well-ironed, shave your beard, style your hair well, polish or clean your shoes, and ensure you smell good. She will be encouraged by your effort to look good. Such simple things would help you make a rocking first impression.

6. Choose the right moment 

While you might be in a big hurry to ask a girl out, there is the best time and place for everything. Consider the situation before you pose the question. Be patient and wait for that perfect moment before asking her out. If she works with you, avoid asking her out during working hours. Don’t intervene when she is spending time with family or busy doing something important. Asking her out when she is ill or upset is also not a good idea.

7. Do not overthink 

What should I say? How should I say it? What if she says no? Should I do it now or later? Questions like these might crowd your mind. While it’s ok to have a basic plan in mind, avoid overthinking and overanalyzing. It just creates confusion and impacts your confidence. You might get into the trap of indecisiveness and back out. Quit worrying and make your move.

8. Be respectful

It is important to respect the woman’s personal space while asking her out. She should feel comfortable in your presence. Your behavior will show her the kind of man you are. Avoid giving suggestive looks or remarks. Look into her eyes while speaking; do not stare at her body. Inappropriate touching is cheap and sleazy and to be avoided. Be calm and not forceful.

9. Don’t get bogged down by rejection 

Even if you put your best foot forward, there is a chance that you might get turned down. She might not feel the same way about you. Prepare yourself for such a scenario. Don’t become emotional or angry. You have to maintain your decorum and accept her decision graciously. Keep in mind that everyone goes through rejection sometimes. Don’t take it to heart; you gave it your best, and you will move on.

10. Be clear and candid 

While asking her out on a date, be clear and straightforward about your intentions. She should understand that you are asking her out on a date. Don’t say something vague, such as “There is a great party tonight at XYZ club.” The statement doesn’t communicate your intentions. It seems like you are merely stating facts.

If you tiptoe around the issue instead of getting straight to the point, she is likely to misinterpret you. You might come across as a guy who is trying to be friendly, ultimately defeating your purpose. To increase your chances, be bold and assertive with kindness. You don’t need to use excessive flowery language; keep it simple.

11. Be positive 

Prepare for the worst-case scenario, but approach her hoping for the best. Visualize a positive response before asking her out. Such optimistic thoughts will boost your confidence and relax your mind. Your attitude will help you make a great impression. Conversely, believing that you could make a mistake and face rejection might make you feel anxious and ruin your chances.

12. Choose the right place

Choosing the right place plays a crucial role in making your date a success. A wrong location can ruin a budding relationship. A club outing on the first date is the wrong choice. The big crowd, sweaty bodies, loud music, and drunk strangers around you are far from an ideal first date.

Pick a place where you two would get to speak to each other and feel comfortable. If you have chosen a place where you have never been before, research the spot well. Check it out before making a concrete plan for the date. For instance, if you choose a new restaurant for the date, make sure that the food, service, location, and ambiance will be a comfortable place to talk and get to know each other.

Creative Ways To Ask A Girl Out On A Date

If you are dying to ask a girl out and are confused about the right way to do it, here are 21 creative ways to guide you.

1. Write her a letter 

In the world of text messages, a handwritten letter has its own charm. Girls love romance, and nothing depicts romance like a handwritten letter. The letter shows your efforts and thoughtfulness in impressing this woman you are interested in.

2. Cook something special 

Cooking is a great way to win a woman’s heart. Invite her to your place and treat her to a delicious meal. If you are a good cook, prepare your specialty or delight her by making her favorite food. In case you do not know how to cook, search for the recipe of a simple yet delectable dish online and try it once or twice before inviting her over. While sharing the romantic dinner, you can ask her out verbally or give her a note.

3. Give her flowers 

The beauty and freshness of flowers make them very attractive to women. Women feel appreciated when gifted with flowers. Giving flowers is an incredibly romantic way to tell her how you feel. Find out her favorite flowers and send them with a note asking her out on a date or personally present them to her and ask her out.

4. Use music

You can use music to ask the girl you like on a date. Select a song that perfectly conveys how you feel. Sing that song for her during karaoke nights. If you are a terrible singer, you can meet up at a live performance at a bar and dedicate that special song to her. She would enjoy your gesture and attention. If you are looking for a more private setting to ask her out, you can sing it to her or text her the song clip. This unique gesture might up your chances of landing the date.

5. Use a placard 

Does this woman like romantic movies and over-the-top romantic gestures? If yes, here is a compelling idea. She would be impressed by your confidence and boldness. Just call her up and ask her to come to her window. Stand below her window with a placard that says, “Tonight… 7 PM… Dinner at Romero’s? Smile for Yes!

6. Write her a poem

A poem has a classy vibe that women love. Using a poem to ask her out could appeal to her. She might appreciate the amount of thought and effort you have put in to ask her out. While you might not be a poet, writing a simple poem with rhyming words indicating your intentions is not very difficult. Your unique approach might help you stand out from the competition.

7. Say it with balloons 

If you thought balloons were only useful for decorations, you could be wrong. Balloons can also help you share the feelings in your heart. Write the message on a heart-shaped balloon (for added romantic effect) and tie it to the door/window of this woman’s house or her car door. You can write the full message on one balloon or write one word per balloon and present the bunch to her.

8. Send her a text 

Asking by text is more comfortable than asking her out face to face. If you are jittery about facing her, use this idea. This method can work very well if you regularly indulge in long text conversations with her. Keep the tone casual and playful when you ask her out.

9. Use a thoughtful gift to ask her out

Want to make her feel special? Give her a thoughtful gift. Maybe a book, something you know she is interested in, a box of chocolates, or a diary to pen down her feelings. This shouldn’t be very expensive. She shouldn’t feel like you are bragging about your wealth or trying to influence her with luxurious things.

Your meaningful gift should communicate care and affection. Add a note with the gift asking her out. Be a little creative; for instance, write your message on a bookmark if you are gifting her a book.

10. Use fireworks 

If you know she likes grand gestures and want to go with all guns blazing during your attempt, use fireworks to ask her out on a date. This cheesy approach is a great way to surprise and delight the girl you like. While you can do the fireworks display any day, choosing a special day would have a more significant impact. Choose her birthday or Valentine’s day and surprise her with the display of fireworks that spell out your question across the sky.

11. Communicate by delivering food 

Surprise the girl by getting her favorite food delivered accompanied by your note. The note should say something like, “This amazing food is just your first surprise. Join me for dinner at 7 PM on Saturday for many more surprises.” This idea will put her in a good mood. Her delight and anticipation might improve your chances of getting a positive response.

12. Take the help of pets 

The beautiful fur babies are human’s best friends, so why not take their help in jump-starting your love life? If you have a dog, tie a note around their neck and send them towards the girl. Make sure that the note is written on a piece of shiny paper that attracts attention. You can further clue her by saying, “Looks like my mate wants to say something.”

13. Ask with the help of some games

Make the delivery of your message interesting by turning it into a game. This approach works great if you already share a great camaraderie with the girl. You could challenge her to solve a crossword puzzle or send her on a treasure hunt.

For the crossword puzzle, your message can be the final answer. Give her telltale clues and keep the puzzle simple. Ensure your message is to the point. In the case of a treasure hunt, you could end it with a box containing a gift for the girl along with a note asking her out. The game would build her excitement and anticipation. Her high spirits might positively influence her response.

14. Give her a list of reasons she should go out with you 

Do you want her to say yes? Give her ten reasons why she should. Take twelve colorful cards and bind them together. On the first card, mention the title, “10 perks of dating me,” then on each of the ten cards, write down quirky and cute reasons why she should agree to a date with you. For instance, you could say, “I can watch cheesy romantic movies without cribbing.” On the last card, ask her out with a time, date, and location.

Your efforts and creativity are bound to impress her. The funny reasons would also make her smile. All in all, this idea is a winner that will ensure your chances go up considerably.

15. Make a video 

A charming way to ask a girl out is by making a video of yourself expressing your feelings. If you two are friends, you can create a video showing the best pictures of you two together and ask her out at the end of the video, saying, “Let’s convert this beautiful friendship into something more beautiful; Would you go out with me?” If you don’t know her well, combine some iconic movie proposal scenes and ask her out at the end. If she is a movie buff and a romantic, she would love this idea.

16. Use unconventional surfaces to share your feelings 

If you want to go for something unconventional, write your message somewhere unexpected. It can be on the sand, window glass, pavement, snow, or even on her coffee cup! Just write your message beforehand and then use some pretext to ensure that she sees it. For instance, if you have written your message on the sand, take her for a walk near its vicinity. Your unconventional approach would surprise her and make the moment a memorable one.

17. Take help from your friends 

Do you want to make the proposal extra special? Your friends can help. Create posters with each word of your proposal. You could write a message like, “Would you have dinner with me at 8 tonight?” Ask your friends to hold each word in the correct order and then surprise her. She will love such a sweet and unique proposal.

18. Get your message printed on a t-shirt 

If you feel nervous to ask her out directly, let your t-shirt do the talking for you. Get your question printed on the back of your t-shirt and hide it under a jacket or shirt. Show it to her at a suitable time. This idea might be cheesy but would win you bonus points for creativity.

19. Create the right ambiance 

Creating the right ambiance might help you score a date faster than you imagined. Show her what this moment means to you by planning a perfect evening. Women love it when a guy makes them feel special.

Invite her to your place. Decorate a room with some lights, festoons, and balloons and arrange a cake with the message. You can also light some candles around it. Such a romantic set-up would make this a memorable experience for her.

20. Give a playful challenge 

A playful challenge is an excellent idea to up the excitement. Tell your girl something sweet, such as, “If I can make you smile in the next five minutes, let me take you out for dinner. You up for it?” Then proceed to tell her some silly jokes or flirt outrageously to make her smile. After you win the challenge, share the time, date, and location for the date. This idea is perfect for communicating your intentions.

21. Plan a date around the things she likes

While planning a date, keep her interests in mind. Even if you have just started talking to her, speak to her to find out what she likes. Another way to know her preferences is to check her social media pages. However, the direct approach works best. If she has told you that she loves concerts, offer to take her to one on your date.

Your thoughtfulness would impress her. She would feel happy that you considered what she enjoys instead of going ahead with what you wanted. This gesture would make it difficult for her to say no to you. It might even help you have future dates with her.

Frequently Asked Questions

1. Why am I scared to ask a girl out?

The primary reason for a guy to fear asking a girl out for a date is the fear of rejection. The embarrassment of getting hurt and being apprehensive about how the girl might react can also hold the guy back. However, self-belief, confidence, and the ability to woo her can help you overcome the fear.

2. How do you ask a girl for a date indirectly?

If you really like a girl but are too shy to ask her out, you may try to reach her through friends, write a letter, leave a message or share your favorite romantic songs with her. Whatever way you may try, make sure you don’t overdo it or sound desperate. And if she rejects your overtures, don’t force her because she is not meant for you, and remember not to lose hope.

You are interested in her, and the most frequent question that you ask yourself is ’how to ask a girl on a date.’ We hope this post has helped you figure out a few tips and tricks that you might need to keep in mind while asking her out. Think of something out of the box, pick ideas from the list above, and confidently ask her out with sincerity. Remember, you should not overthink every move but respect her tastes and preferences.

Key Pointers

  • You need to figure out if the girl is interested before planning to ask her out for a date.
  • Be presentable, confident, and establish a good rapport with her.
  • Consider writing a letter, giving her flowers, using a placard, taking help of common friends, or several other ways to ask her out in a special way.

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Sharon Gilchrest O'Neill is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist and family business consultant, who has earlier been a graduate instructor/advisor, an organizational learning consultant, and hospice volunteer. With around eight years of experience working in the private as well as corporate setting, Sharon helps her clients think creatively and build upon their strengths.

Read full bio of Sharon Gilchrest O’Neill
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