Physical Intimacy Dilemma In Arranged Marriage Setting – How Soon Is Too Soon?

‘So, what would be the right time to get intimate with my spouse?’ – the lingering question in the minds of every newly-wed couple who’ve got hitched via an arranged marriage. The reason for this concern is simple. Things are so regimented and pre-planned in an arranged wedding that espoused couples have no idea what to do when they are left all alone. The point then arises is what’s the ‘right time’ before you get intimate with your spouse in an arranged marriage? The answer to this question is a mixed bag.

Some say ‘give it time’ while some some say ‘just go for it.’ Sexual intimacy in any marriage though – whether love or arranged – is invariable. The thing is to find that healthy time gap between the wedding and first physical encounter that will ensure maximum manifestation of the couple’s love, and of course satisfaction. Since this is how an ideal first intimate moment should be, we present to you nine tips to get intimate once you’ve tied the knot without discounting on love and mutual respect towards the partner. Who knows, you may as well get intimate quite soon after the wedding if you adhere to these tips. So hold those sheets, and let us begin!

Tip 1: Definitely Avoid That Wedding Night Intimacy


In an arranged marriage, it is always assumed that the newly-weds would like to hit it off right after the wedding. In fact in Indian marriages, relatives get the bed done, and usher the newly-weds into the bedroom for their first night together (as if they WANT it to happen!). But the thing is, it is always not a great moment and place to go full swing right away. It is quite likely you both do not know each other completely yet, and there is a lot of figuring out to be done and lot of ice to be broken. Since sex with love makes a great combo, keep it on your agenda to explore each other emotionally to fall in wishful love first. Once that happens, you will automatically find it difficult to keep your hands off each other. It is always good to discuss such matters with your partner, and/or make some subtle references to understand this aspect of each other, when you are having your pre-wedding arranged dates.

Tip 2: Begin With Emotional Bonding


It simply means, fall in true love FIRST. We touched this point in the previous tip, and it holds a lot of water. Emotional bonding is the key to spark a flaming desire for each other, which can help you get intimate sooner. Do not force yourself to fall in love. Instead, be a doting married couple, and you will realise that love would come naturally.

Tip 3: Focus On Mental Preparation


So you hit the gym to prepare yourself physically but no amount of physical preparation is going to help you unless you are mentally prepared. As life partners, learn to respect that aspect of your relationship, and only when you feel you are collectively prepared at the mental level, you then start taking things to the next level.

Tip 4: If You Do Not Feel Like Doing It, Say It


There are high chances that you could be in a situation where your partner is insistent for some intimacy (especially husbands in arranged marriage). If you land in such a situation, make it a point to politely decline it, and share what’s in your heart. Make it a point to maintain that love and bonhomie with your partner and push that closed-door fun for some other day.

Tip 5: Avoid Creating Conditions For Intimacy


Do not try to force it on your partner by creating situations or moments which may seem naughty to you but may look cheesy to your partner. For example, do not barge into the room when your partner is changing just to create a situation, where you think you may end up having sex. It may seem playful for you, but your partner may find it awkward, eventually delaying your chance of getting into the sheets. Remember, respect and mutual consent in physical intimacy is the hallmark of every satisfied married couple.

Tip 6: Look For Spontaneous Situations Where You Are Bound To Get Close


Always be alert to spontaneous situations where you may end-up getting intimate. Say when you are absolutely alone at home, cuddling on the sofa, only to realise you unintentionally touched your spouse in a naughty way. In such situations, observe your partner’s body language and facial expressions. If you think he/she liked it, do it again, and who knows, in a few moments you toss that ‘arranged’ tag to get in the thick of a foreplay like you have known each other for ages. No elaboration on what happens next!

Tip 7: When Your Spouse Is In The Mood For It, Then It Is Time


Once you fall in love completely, there are going to be chances that your spouse would be more comfortable getting into the sheets with you. If you feel it is one of those days (rather nights!), when you both seem to be in sync, then do not let the opportunity pass by.

Tip 8: Make Sure You ‘Make Love’


Sex is just ‘doing it.’ Making love is like adding some zing to it. When you make love, you explore the physical attributes of your beloved partner to fall in love with all those physical flaws and awesomeness. It is the culmination point of your love – when you have fallen in love with the soul, and are now falling in love with the body. When you finally get intimate, make it a point to learn and explore your partner’s body. Appreciate whatever you like, tell her/him that’s the best form you have seen, and take a note of certain physical nuances (like mole at a place only you will know). You will realise at the end of it that you would have upgraded the quality of your relationship by umpteen notches. That’s exactly what good marriages are made of.

Tip 9: Have A Healthy Routine Once You Get It Started


Once you have taken the plunge, make it a point to come back to it once in a while. As an espoused couple, you can discuss and choose a frequency which suits you the best. Physical intimacy is the spice of married life, and too much and too little can ruin everything. Therefore, make it a point to have a healthy balance of it.

Remember to always have that spark of love in your life through the ups and downs. That is what makes marriage a blissful journey with someone special. Now go enjoy!

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