100+ Hilarious Halloween Jokes For Kids

Hilarious Halloween jokes make children laugh and enjoy every bit of the celebration.

Reviewed by Alicia Spomer, MS, LPC Alicia Spomer Alicia SpomerMS, LPC facebook_iconinsta_icon Specialty: Professional counsellorExperience: 10 years
Written by Harshita Makvana facebook_iconinsta_icon Experience: 7 years
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Halloween jokes for kids are a great way to entertain everyone at Halloween parties. Children can narrate these jokes to up the fun during Halloween. Additionally, you may have your kids indulge in a Halloween joke contest. You may treat the winners with a trick-o’-treat candy and some special Halloween presents.

Children who have grown up in places where Halloween-joke-telling might be a tradition may be aware of some amusing Halloween jokes to share on Halloween. This post brings you a collection of various types of Halloween jokes, including vampire jokes, monster jokes, and ghost jokes for children.

100+ Halloween Jokes For Kids

  1. What kind of monster is the best dancer at parties?
  1. Why doesn’t the skeleton fall in love?
    Because it doesn’t have a heart
  1. What’s the one room that the ghosts do not enter?
    The living room
  1. Why can’t the skeleton come out at night?
    Because it doesn’t have the guts
  1. What’s the favorite food of a scarecrow?
  1. How do you fix a broken pumpkin?
    With a pumpkin patch
  1. How do you treat an ill vampire?
    By giving COFFIN-drops
  1. When two witches stay together, what are they called?
  1. Where do mommy ghosts drop their baby ghosts during the day?
    In a baby day-SCARE center
  1. Which instrument does the skeleton like?
    The trom-BONE
  1. What do birds say on Halloween?
    Trick or Tweet
  1. When a witch goes to a restaurant, what does it order?
    A sand-WITCH
  1. Why does the local cemetery have fences?
    Because people are dying to get into it
  1. What does a vampire give when it is in the snow?
    A frost-BITE
  1. Why was the witch’s broom late to the party?
    Because it overslept
  1. What’s the vampire’s favorite fruit?
    The NECK-tarine
  1. What happens when a ghost gets lost?
    It is mist.
  1. Why is the local cemetery a popular spot for writing stories?
    People find a lot of plots there.
  1. Which national holiday do the vampires celebrate?
    FANGS-giving day
  1. What’s a ghost’s favorite food?
  1. Which hair product does a witch use?
    A SCARE-spray
  1. Where does a ghost go swimming?
    The Dead Sea
  1. Which face cream do the ghosts use?
    The vanishing face cream
  1. What do ghosts use to wash their hair?
  1. What’s a ghost’s favorite drink?
  1. When you divide a jack-o’-lantern’s circumference with its diameter, what will you get?
    Pumpkin pie
  1. How does the skeleton know the future?
    It just feels it in its bones.
  1. Who’s the most popular skeleton detective?
  1. What do ghost cowboys wear?
  1. What would be provided to witches at a hotel?
    A free BROOM-service.
  1. What does a chef skeleton say after serving a meal?
  1. Which glasses do the ghosts wear?
  1. Why did a scarecrow get an award?
    Because it was outstanding in its field
  1. Why are skeletons good at stand-up comedy?
    Because they use their funny bones
  1. What is a skeleton that doesn’t like to work called?
  1. Why was the ghost reading the newspaper?
    To check the horrorscope
  1. Why are spiders great software testers?
    Because they are great at finding bugs
  1. Why didn’t the skeleton shake its leg at the Halloween party?
    It had no-BODY to dance with.
  1. Which is a vampire’s favorite type of ship?
    A blood vessel
  1. How does a love bite from a vampire feel like?
    It’s a pain in the neck.
  1. A vampire was fired from its job in a blood bank, know why?
    It was drinking during working hours.
  1. Where do dracula save their money?
    In a blood bank
  1. What’s a vampire’s favorite dog?
    A bloodhound
  1. What does a skeleton buy at a supermarket?
    Spare ribs
  1. What’s a fat pumpkin called?
    A plumpkin
  1. Why are jack-o’-lanterns not so smart?
    Because their brains had been scooped out
  1. What’s the favorite music of a mummy?
    Wrap music
  1. What happens when a teacher and a vampire come together?
    A lot of blood tests happen
  1. Why are mummies called workaholics?
    Because they are always wrapped up in work
  1. What’s a ghost’s favorite position in football?
  1. What’s a ghost’s favorite ice cream flavor?
  1. Where do dracula meet in New York City?
    In the Vampire State Building
  1. How do you make a witch itch?
    Simply remove the ‘W.’
  1. How did the zombie greet another zombie?
    “Nice to eat you!”
  1. Why are skeletons bad at digging a field?
    Because they can dig only at six-feet deep
  1. What would happen if the ghost of Leonardo Da Vinci haunted your house?
    You would get an art attack.
  1. Why can’t a mummy eat food?
    Because it’s all wrapped up
  1. Why does a vampire need mouthwash?
    Because it has a BAT breath
  1. Why can’t skeletons play music?
    Because they don’t have organs
  1. What’s a witch’s favorite subject?
    English—because it has SPELLings
  1. What do vampires bring to a baseball game?
    Their bats
  1. Where does a skeleton keep its pet parrot?
    In its rib cage
  1. How does the ghost compliment his wife?
    You look BOO-tiful
  1. What is a key to a haunted house called?
    A spooKEY
  1. Why do skeletons drink milk?
    Because it’s good for the bones
  1. Why are vampires liked by everyone?
    Because they’re FANGtastic
  1. Who did Dracula bring to the Halloween party?
    His GHOUL-friend
  1. Why don’t witches like a flat hat?
    Because they don’t see any point in it
  1. What did the ghost do when it entered the car?
    BOOKled its seat belt
  1. What kind of TV do you find in a haunted house?
    A wide-SCREAM TV
  1. What’s the favorite color of ghosts?
  1. What did one ghost say to another?
    “Long time no see”
  1. Why are haunted houses so tall?
    Because they have many stories
  1. Why did the baby wrap itself in a cloth?
    It wanted to be like mummy
  1. What’s a one-legged witch called?
  1. Why don’t ghosts like rain on Halloween?
    Because it dampens their spirits
  1. What does a ghost eat for lunch?
    A BOO-logna sandwich
  1. Which plant do the ghosts like?
    The bam-BOO
  1. Why aren’t the parents of ghosts visible?
    Because they are trans-PARENT
  1. Why do ghosts like an elevator?
    Because it raises their spirits
  1. Which day of the week scares ghosts the most?
  1. What do you call a ghost with its own company?
    A hauntrepreneur!
  1. What’s in a ghost’s nose?
  1. What’s a ghost’s favorite ride?
    The roller-goaster
  1. Who accompanies the monster to the Halloween party?
    His GHOUL-friend
  1. What’s a ghost’s favorite pair of trousers?
    The Boo-pants
  1. Why didn’t the zombie attend the party?
    It felt rotten.
  1. What scares the vampires most?
    Tooth decay
  1. How can you tell a ghost is lying?
    By seeing through them
  1. What is a lie told by a skeleton called?
    A fib-ula
  1. Why did the witches stop fortune-telling?
    They realized there is no future in it.
  1. What would a witch serve for dinner to her friends?
    A potluck
  1. Why isn’t the scarecrow hungry?
    Because it was already stuffed from head to toe
  1. What happens when a vampire has trouble in its house?
    It becomes a grave problem.
  1. What’s an Italian ghost’s favorite dish?
  1. What happens when a skeleton gets exposed to fire for too long?
    It becomes bone dry.
  1. What’s a monster without a neck called?
    Lost neck monster
  1. Why are graveyards noisy?
    Because of all the Coffin
  1. Which cups do the skeletons use to serve coffee?
    Bone China Cups
  1. Why are skeletons so calm?
    Because nothing gets under their skin
  1. Why do vampires subscribe to the Washington Post?
    Because it has good circulation
  1. Where does a ghost go on vacation?
  1. What’s a Goblin’s favorite cheese?
  1. Which is a zombies’ favorite cereal?
    Rice creepies
  1. What do ghosts wear to formal events?

The Halloween jokes for kids featured above use smart wordplay revolving around the Halloween theme. They’re simple one-liners that, when told, can cause a chain reaction of laughing. So, if your child is setting out on their trick-or-treat journey or is nervous about the night, you could share one of these puns to cheer them up. You may also offer your child a printed copy of our post so they can read it to their neighbors or friends and brighten their Halloween.

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Alicia Spomer is the founder of Life Anchors Counseling, a private practice that specializes in the treatment of mental health in children, adolescents, and young adults. She is a Nationally Certified Counselor with a masters in professional counseling as well as a post master’s degree in child & adolescent disorders from Grand Canyon University.

Read full bio of Alicia Spomer
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