6 Effective Ways Of Not Losing Friendship After Marriage

Simple yet effective ways to keep your friends close even after marriage.

Written by Ratika Pai • 
Image: Shutterstock


Marriage opens doors to new relationships. But walking through these doors could mean leaving a lot of things behind. For instance, maintaining a friendship after marriage could be tough. Also, Your priorities may change, and so you might too. What’s more, is that your life further changes when you have a baby. It begins to revolve around the baby and family. All these transformations might impact your relationship with your friends. Furthermore, marriage requires you to be in sync with your partner, especially when it comes to matters of friendship. Most couples often complain about the kind of company their spouses keep and could disapprove of them. This could strain your relationship. To avoid this, you must learn to accommodate your partner’s interests without overly compromising on yours.

Friends are like a second family, who offer love, support, and encouragement. They are your comfort zone where you can be yourself and not be judged for your actions. Since marriage and friendship are so intertwined into one another, let’s have a look at some ways in which you can maintain friendships even after you are married.

1. Identify Friends:

As time passes, you learn a lot about the people you spend or have spent time with. Some have a pessimistic approach towards life and tend to pull you down with them. Such friends are likely to offer only negative advice that can be toxic for you and your marriage. Communicate with them about the ‘negative’ advice and behavior in order to give them a chance for change before staying away from them. Identify people whom you can count on and put in all efforts to keep them in your life. Reliable friends bring a lot of positivity in your life and also help you develop as a person.

2. Draw Limits:

No matter how long your friendship runs into time, you must always set some limits to the level of commitment that you can offer. It is important to make your friends understand that your priorities have changed after marriage and that you may not be able to spend as much time with them as earlier. However, you must show and let them know that they are still an integral part of your life and that they mean a lot to you.

3. Make Time:

Availability of time is critical to maintaining any relationship. After marriage and having a baby, when making time for yourself becomes difficult, meeting old friends finds little place in your to-do list. But to have long-lasting friendships, you must try to maintain contacts and make time for your friends. An occasional phone call or message via social networking apps will help you keep in touch with them. A get-together with your friends once in a while would rekindle old friendships. A one-to-one meet up once in a few weeks or months can also do the charm. These can help you revive good memories and provide relaxation in the company of your pals.

4. Share And Listen:

Your life changes drastically after marriage, and you might just have tons of new experiences to share with your friends. But once you are done sharing yours, have the patience to listen to your friends as well. Do not interrupt and deviate when your friend is talking. Doing so will be rude and selfish and may hurt your friend. Not all your friends may be married so they may not be able to relate to your life as of now. They may not want to know all that has been going on with you. So do not go on a ramble about your kids, in-laws, and other new stuff in your life. Stick to general topics where all your friends can contribute to the discussion

5. Create A Balance:

Your friends may be your best support system, and you may be very comfortable in sharing your problems with them, but do not overlook the fact that your spouse can also be your pillar of support. Your marriage takes precedence over friendship. Ensure that the support you require comes not only from your friends but also from your spouse. At the same time, be there to support your spouse. This will make the bond between your partner and you stronger.

6. New Friends:

Even after your best efforts in maintaining an old friendship, things might not be the way you want them to. People change, and you cannot control that. At times, you may have to let go of certain people to make way for new ones. Don’t be disheartened on losing friends after marriage, as you can always find new friends. Who knows, they might just connect with you and relate to your current situation. You can also be friends with your spouse’s friends to have a common friends circle. Marriage is a full-time job, but that should not deter you from making time for your pals. Taking time for social interaction with friends is a main factor for emotional well being.

Losing friendship after marriage, especially after you have a baby, is common since you may be occupied tending to your partner and your little one. Nevertheless, there are a few ways to retain friendships, including keeping in touch with pals and adding your spouse to friend groups. If you moved to faraway places after marriage, try to be in contact with friends virtually and arrange a get-together whenever possible. You may also be friendly with your spouse’s friends to make new friends and create a common friend circle.

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