Are You Feeling Lonely In A Relationship? Here Are 5 Ways To Overcome It

Written by , BE, PGDBM, Certified Professional Life Coach Harini Natarajan BE, PGDBM, Certified Professional Life Coach Experience: 17 years
Last Updated on

Feeling lonely has nothing to do with being in a relationship. In fact, a person could be in a large group, laughing and talking, but feel extremely lonely. It is a state of mind people often experience when they don’t find that special connection with someone who understands them and relates to them at a basic level. Scroll down to know How To Stop Feeling Lonely?

Did You Know?

  • Around 80% of those the population 18 years of age and 40% over 65 years of age report being lonely at some point in time (1).
  • According to the Pew Research Center, three in ten Americans dissatisfied with their family life feel lonely (2).
  • According to a survey conducted by KFF and The Economist, more than 22% of adults in the US, 23% in the UK, and 9% in Japan say they often feel lonely and lack companionship (3).

It does make it worse when one feels lonely in spite of having a partner. This is because that is what ideal relationships are meant to do – make you and your soulmate connect at a different level. People who are in a relationship can get lonely because things are not working great between the couple or they expect their partners to fill the void they have within themselves.

Whatever the issue is, if you are feeling lonely, it is time to change that. There are a few ways you can ensure that you are not plagued by thoughts of loneliness while in a relationship.

Before we get to the tips to deal with this issue, you need to figure out why you have those thoughts in the first place.

Why Do People Feel Lonely In Relationships?

  1. The relationship with your partner is not as close as it was.
  2. You both have lost the connection you once had and have lesser empathy for each other.
  3. You are unwilling to open up to each other because you are afraid of being vulnerable and getting hurt.
  4. You have stopped communicating.

Let’s now look at the ways you can overcome this loneliness.

How To Overcome Loneliness In A Relationship

1. Evaluate Yourself

Evaluate Yourself
Image: IStock

Most people get into a relationship because they are in love with each other. If things have changed since you got together, instead of putting all the blame on the other person, evaluate yourself first. Maybe you have changed and become more closed, more guarded with time.

Try to remember the good times, the reasons you fell in love with your partner. Remember how you really felt. You could get a diary and write down the specifics about your love. Don’t focus on the negatives. Do this regularly.

Write down things that you love and appreciate about your partner. If you are into journaling, you probably have old entries. Read them over and over. Write them a love letter and tell them why and how much you value them.

These exercises will not only bring you both closer but also renew the romance. If you give your 100% to the relationship, your partner is bound to respond.

2. Love Yourself First

Love Yourself First
Image: IStock

Judgment, sorrow, and fear can kill love. You cannot love someone else wholeheartedly if you don’t love yourself unconditionally. Stop judging yourself over every shortcoming. Give yourself a break, a breather.

Quieten the voices that say you are not good enough. When people are hard on themselves, they are more likely to be hard on their partners as well once the initial euphoria of love wears off.

If sadness or fear of being alone made you get into a relationship, it was doomed from the beginning. No one can make you feel whole except yourself.

Do not play the blame game with your partner. It never helps. The best thing to do will be to seek counseling as a couple if your partner is willing.

3. Don’t Be Fooled By The Fake Social Media World

Don’t Be Fooled By The Fake Social Media World
Image: IStock

Your friends are taking couple vacations together, putting up lovey-dovey pics on Instagram, and having the best life ever. Makes you look at your own life and feel that pang of loneliness? All your partner does is go to work and come back exhausted?

Don’t compare your life to somebody else’s. It is amazing that they have a great life. But, most of it may be fake and exaggerated. They will surely have issues but, of course, will not portray that on social media.

Appreciate what you have and what your partner does for you. Sometimes, all we need to do is take a good, close look at our blessings to realize how lucky we are. This will definitely give you a better perspective on life.

4. Don’t Feel Guilty

Don’t Feel Guilty
Image: Shutterstock

You may tend to blame yourself for feeling lonely. That’s another negative emotion. Your feelings are important and valid – don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Your goal should be to deal with the feeling, not feel worse about it.

Accept it and seek help. Loneliness has become a cultural issue now, and more and more support systems are being set up to tackle this issue. The best thing would be to talk about it to a professional.

If that is not an option for you, confide in someone you trust. A friend, a relative – someone who would understand your viewpoint and help you look for the light at the end of the tunnel.

5. Talk To Your Partner About How You Feel

Talk To Your Partner About How You Feel
Image: IStock

Loneliness can give rise to depression if not treated in time. Many people tend to ignore their feelings because they are ashamed to admit that they need human contact.

If you don’t have any other issues like abuse or neglect in your relationship, there is no reason not to talk things over with your partner. It is very important that they get to know how you truly feel. People find it hard to gauge the feelings of others from time to time – but it doesn’t mean they don’t care. Open your heart a little, and let the sunshine in.

Feeling Alone In A Relationship or even when you have a partner can be a harrowing experience. It is haunting to share a bed with someone, yet feel estranged. But, it doesn’t have to be this way. What To Do When You Feel Lonely? Practice positive thinking and seek professional help if needed. Make yourself a priority. Life is too short to suffer in silence. Take matters in your own hands and live life to the fullest.

Try these tips and let us know how it went in the comments section below.


  1. Loneliness Matters: A Theoretical and Empirical Review of Consequences and Mechanisms” Annals of Behavioral Medicine, US National Library of Medicine, National Institutes of Health.
  2. Americans unhappy with family, social or financial life are more likely to say they feel lonely” Pew Research Center.
  3. Loneliness and Social Isolation in the United States, the United Kingdom, and Japan: An International Survey” KFF.

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Harini Natarajan
Harini NatarajanHead Of Content Operations
As Head Of Content Operations, Harini sets the tone and editorial direction for StyleCraze to deliver engaging, interesting, and authentic content revolving around women's health, wellness, and beauty. She is a Certified Professional Life Coach from Transformation Academy, a Certified Emotional Intelligence Practitioner from The Priority Academy, and has over 17 years of experience in content writing and editing for online media.

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