105 Dirty Jokes: The Funniest Raunchy One-Liners & Puns for Adults

A cheeky collection of risqué laughs to liven up any grown-up gathering.

Written by Medha Deb, Integrated MA
Last Updated on
A cheeky collection of risqué laughs to liven up any grown-up gathering.

Image: ShutterStock

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105 Dirty Jokes That Will Definitely Make You Blush

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Ready for some hilariously inappropriate humor? These dirty jokes for adults will tickle your funny bone and might make you squirm, too. Dive into this extensive collection of one-liners, puns, and innuendo-laden jokes to lighten the mood at your next adult gathering or to simply get a laugh and a groan after a long day.

Table of Contents

Best Dirty Jokes

  1. Why isn’t there a pregnant Barbie doll?
    Ken came in another box.
  2. Why did the snowman suddenly smile?
    He saw the snowblower coming.
  3. Why did the weatherman’s cheeks turn pink?
    He saw the climate change.
  4. What did Nala say to Simba in bed?
    Move fasta (Mufasa).
  5. What did Cinderella say to Prince Charming?
    Want to see if it fits?
  6. How did Burger King get Dairy Queen pregnant?
    He forgot to wrap his Whopper.
  7. What did the hurricane say to the palm tree?
    Hold onto your nuts, this isn’t an ordinary blow job!
  8. What do you call a cheap circumcision?
    A rip-off.
  9. What’s the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms?
    One’s a Goodyear. The other’s a great year.
  10. What did the O say to the Q?
    Dude, your thing’s hanging out.
  11. What did the woman say after sex with a clown?
    That was… intense!
  12. Why did the sperm cross the road?
    Because I put on the wrong sock this morning.
  13. Why are men like microwaves?
    They get hot in a minute and won’t stop beeping until you take them out.
  14. Why did the lizard fail at love?
    He had a reptile dysfunction.
  15. What’s the most popular guy at the nudist colony known for?
    The one who can carry a cup of coffee in each hand and a dozen donuts.
  16. What do you call a smiling Roman with a piece of hair stuck between his teeth?
    A glad-he-ate-her.
  17. What did one butt cheek say to the other?
    Together, we can stop this crap.
  18. Why does a mermaid wear seashells?
    Because she outgrew her B-shells.
  19. What do tofu and dildos have in common?
    They are both meat substitutes.
  20. What’s the difference between your husband and your boyfriend?
    60 minutes.

Funny Dirty Jokes for Adults

  1. Did you hear about the constipated mathematician?
    He worked it out with a pencil.
  2. Why don’t priests have children?
    Because Jesuits can’t have kids!
  3. What did the toaster say to the slice of bread?
    I want you inside me.
  4. Why don’t scientists trust atoms?
    Because they make up everything… and sometimes, get into everything.
  5. Why are friends like snow? If you pee on them, they disappear.
  6. Let’s play carpenter: First, we’ll get hammered, then I’ll nail you.
  7. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself?
    Because it was two-tired… from last night’s ride.
  8. Is your car battery dead?
    Because I’d really like to jump you.
  9. Are you Little Caesars?
    Because I’m hot and I’m ready!
  10. Do you work at Dick’s?
    Because you’re sporting the goods.
  11. Did you butt dial me?
    I swear your booty is calling me.
  12. Were your parents bakers?
    Because you’ve got a nice set of buns.
  13. Are you a Slytherin?
    Because you’re working your way into my chamber of secrets.
  14. What’s the difference between a microwave and a woman?
    A man will actually press and pull a microwave’s buttons and knobs.
  15. Why did Popeye punch the Pope?
    He heard he went to Mount Olive.
  16. Do you believe in karma?
    Because I know some ‘Karma’ Sutra positions we can try.
  17. Did you hear about the manscaping incident?
    He lost a bet and barely lived to tell the tail.
  18. Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
    Breast reasons.
  19. What does a man and a good barista have in common?
    They both know how to grind and steam things just right.
  20. How do you make a pool table laugh?
    Tickle its balls.

Dirty Jokes for Him

  • What’s long and hard and full of semen?
    A submarine.
  • Do you play soccer? Because you’re a keeper, but I’d still like to score.
  • Can you pass me an icebreaker? Because your hotness is melting me!
  • If we were stars, I’d be Uranus… you’d still be out of this world.
  • I’m on a seafood diet. I see food, and I want to eat yours.
  • Let’s make like fabric softener and snuggle.
  • Are you Australian? Because you meet all my koala-fications.
  • Your name must be Chapstick, because you’re da balm.
  • Let’s play Titanic: I’ll go down, you won’t let go.
  • My doctor says I’m missing Vitamin U.

Naughty Jokes for Her

  • Are you a campfire? Because you’re hot and I want s’more.
  • Do you have a shovel? Because I’m digging your body.
  • If beauty were time, you’d be eternity.
  • I’m not a photographer, but I can picture us together… naked.
  • Are you a magician? Because whenever I look at you, everyone else disappears—and so does my self-control.
  • Do you believe in love at first sight—or should I walk by again?
  • You must be tired because you’ve been running through my mind all night—on top of me.
  • Your hand looks heavy—can I hold it for you? Or better, use it?
  • If kisses were snowflakes, I’d send you a blizzard.
  • I’m not an organ donor, but I’d give you my heart… or at least a piece of my mind.

Hilarious Dirty Jokes for Everyone

  • Why don’t we ever see hippos hiding in trees?
    Because they are really, really good at it.
  • Why do squirrels swim on their backs?
    To keep their nuts dry!
  • Did you hear about the fire at the circus?
    It was in tents (intense).
  • Do you know what rhymes with Friday? Wine.
  • What’s the difference between a pickpocket and a peeping tom?
    One snatches your wallet, the other snatches your watch.
  • Wanna play lion tamer? I’ll get in the cage if you crack the whip.
  • Can you handle one more dirty joke? You might want to sit down for this one—those knees may get weak.
  • Have you ever crashed a costume party as Adam and Eve? Things get wild when the apple drops.
  • Why are men like snowstorms?
    You never know when they’ll come, how many inches, or how long it will last.
  • What’s the most sensitive part of your body when you masturbate?
    Your ears—if someone walks in.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)

Are dirty jokes appropriate for everyone?

Dirty jokes are designed for mature audiences. They often include sexual innuendo, adult themes, or double entendres that are inappropriate for minors or family-friendly settings. Enjoy these jokes among adults who appreciate edgy humor.

What is the difference between a dirty joke and a clean joke?

A dirty joke typically relies on sexual innuendo, taboo topics, or suggestive language, while a clean joke avoids adult themes and is suitable for audiences of all ages.

When is the best time to tell a dirty joke?

These jokes tend to land best at adult gatherings, parties with the right crowd, or between trusted friends. Always consider your audience!

Can dirty jokes help break the ice?

Absolutely, as long as the audience is open to adult humor and willing to laugh! Dirty jokes can help loosen up a room, but when in doubt, err on the side of clean until you know the vibe.

References

  1. https://bestlifeonline.com/dirty-jokes/
  2. https://parade.com/living/dirty-jokes
  3. https://parade.com/1295709/marynliles/dark-humor-jokes/
  4. https://parade.com/940979/kelseypelzer/best-dad-jokes/
  5. https://parade.com/1041830/marynliles/clean-jokes/
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Medha Deb
Medha DebCommerce Editor
Medha Deb is a commerce editor with a master's degree in applied linguistics from the University of Hyderabad, which has allowed her to develop a deep understanding of language and its application in various contexts. She specializes in the areas of beauty, health, and wellness and is committed to ensuring that the content on the website is of the highest quality.

Read full bio of Medha Deb
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