15 Christmas Sweaters That Should Be Illegal To Gift

Getting (or giving) a hideous sweater on Christmas is as much a part of tradition as eggnog, mistletoe or Santa Claus. However, there are varying degrees to what can be called ugly, and what we’re about to present to you classify amongst the absolute worst, ever.

So decide if you want to make someone feel especially lucky by gifting them one of the following horrific sweaters:

1. Ol’ Carrot Nose

This would be a fairly hideous sweater even if the snowman wasn’t doing a handstand. Or a headstand, you know, considering he doesn’t have any hands. And the less said about his, uh, nose, the better. Did you notice the baubles? Sorry to point them out if you hadn’t.

2. It’s A Christmas Miracle

On the twelfth day of Christmas, my… Good grief! Just… what. Every little detail about this sweater (loosely defined) is simply grotesque. The tacky lights, the stupid bird… but the thing that grates us the most? The off center “A” in partridge. Ugh.

3. Just Say Snow

There’s so much wrong with this particular creation… the hideous mistletoe, the annoying smile on the gingerbread man, the tacky glittery silver lining, and that “snow” on the arms. But where this sweater scores the most points is for the simple fact that it features one of the worst gifts to receive – a snowglobe – as the centerpiece, making it a double whammy.

4. It Defies Description

Wear this thing and you’ll be hated, you’ll be adored, but you’ll never be ignored.

5. Only Millionaires Can Pull This Off

Wear only if you’re immune to cutting remarks.

6. Er, Dad?

If you decide to get this for a “friend” or even for yourself, here’s a tip: If anyone asks, those are not dildos glued to the shockingly ugly (and added as an afterthought) sleeves, they’re limbs harvested from small children.

7. So Ugly It’s Endearing

Like a young Michael Cera! We’re kidding. But really, this sweater isn’t something to be worn by those who follow the latest haute couture trends straight out of Paris and Milan. But if you did end up wearing it, the “reindeer barfing candycanes and stars design” is actually kind of cute and oh so different.

8. The Kim Kardashian

Inspired by that famous picture (you know which one), this depiction of Santa balancing a glass on his derriere would actually be passable (and very cool) if it were’nt for the seizure inducing stripes at the bottom. Still an excellent addition to any closet though.

9. The Latest From The Hipster Collection

He learned that particular style of cross-stich at a Buddhist monastery.

10. The Christmas Treat

With the exception of the bare belly sweater, this is the only sweater on the list that is about as uncomfortable as it is ugly, and for that, we commend it.

11. Two Is Uglier Than One

There’s something quite detestable about this pair of sweaters. For me, it’s the fact that not one, but two people decided that this was worth the investment in time and effort. And we bet they’re thrilled with the entirely gross results too.

12. A Gruesome Twosome

Of sweaters that is, the elderly couple are lovely. And they’ve probably been together 40+ years, adorable, yes. Still, there are no excuses for those sweaters, none whatsoever.

13. The Camo Sweater

Originally intended as a wintertime addition to the camouflage suit rations of army personnel, for some reason it never caught on in the military.

14. Back To Basics

Santa Claus, Christmas trees and partridges are secondary. The real reason for Christmas even existing is well depicted on this sweater. And the fact that Jesus is wearing a cross? Simply excellent.