7 Lies Women Tell Men In The Bedroom. Universally.

By Jayant MenonJayant Menon  • 

Fans of Dr. House will know his much celebrated catchphrase “Everybody lies.” It just matters to when and to whom. Well, it turns out that sex, that most sensitive of subjects, is as good a topic as any to bend the truth about. When it comes to the bedroom, here are 7 lies that women tell to men. Not all women, to all men, but… you get the idea. This happens.

1. “You’re the biggest I’ve seen”

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What it means: You’re the first I’ve seen or I had to comment because you seemed insecure.Is this a white lie? Maybe. For whatever reason she’s trying to stroke your, um, ego… and it’s probably a good thing. However, do take this with a pinch of salt.

                                                                  [Read More: A Guy’s Guide To Orgasm: 9 Tell-Tale Signs That She’s Not Faking It]

2. “I only ever climax with you”

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Er, yeah. Now think about this one for a second, it doesn’t take a brain surgeon with an additional PhD in rocket science to figure this out. When the two of you have sex, are you really writhing in pleasure as your bodies are perfectly in sync for as long as it takes, or are you guys just a sweaty, writhing mess like most people? If it’s the latter, and that’s all that takes to get her off, then unless you’re the only one she’s ever been with… You get the picture.

3. “Yes, several times”

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We’re talking about orgasm, and unless she’s incoherent and mentions it first, chances are you shouldn’t quiz her on it. If you do, and the answer is as above.

                                                                      [Read More: 17 Tingle-Ma-Tingle Happy Places Guaranteed To Turn Her On]

4. “I’ve never done this before”

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And yet, she’s quite willing and fairly good at it. Another one that doesn’t take an Ivy League School graduate to figure out. Unless she’s fairly young and clearly fairly inexperienced, she’s just indulging you… with a lie.

5. “I’ve only ever been with (insert small number) of men”

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Yeah, to get the actual number take their supplied figure and multiply by 3. Why do they lie? For the same reason you asked – not curiosity, but judgement aimed at hiding your own insecurities. It doesn’t really matter how many she’d been with, as long as she doesn’t go after any more when she’s with you – that one really matters.

6. “You’re the best I’ve ever had”

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Are you really that good? Is she naïve? Inexperienced? Just turned 20? So many questions, such little truth. It’s an endearing “compliment,” in an odd way though. Maybe.

[Read More: How Long Does Good Sex Really Last?]

7. “That was amazing”

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Right before she rolls over and falls asleep. You should’ve listened to her complain about her tiredness, though, or at least switched on the light so the both of you could see what you were doing. And focused on her a bit, to get her in the mood. Or not. It was amazing, after all.

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